pride Archives - Sharla Fritz

An identity is a fragile thing. A memory from my college days confirms this.

I stared at my first college report card. Most of the grades were As and Bs. Not bad.

But there was one grade that stuck out. Aural Music Theory: C. Not good.

All semester long I had struggled with this class. The professor asked us to do a whole list of seemingly impossible tasks: “Listen as I play this chord on the piano and identify its quality. Write down this rhythm as I tap it out. Listen to this melody and write it out note by note.” I knew I wasn’t getting an A in that class.

But a C. For someone who had always prided herself on good report cards, a C was depressing.

I was never good at athletics. In grade school, I was always the last kid picked for teams. I knew I would never win a beauty pageant. My sister got all the natural good looks in the family. So I based all my self-esteem in the fact that I was pretty good at memorizing facts and understanding algebra and taking tests.

What did it mean if I wasn’t good at school anymore?

Most of us tend to base our identity in our looks, our skills, or our intellect. Maybe you’ve always been the cute girl. Or perhaps you could run fast from the time you were in first grade. Or like me, you were always the one who could ace a test.

We take pride in who we are.

Now, it isn’t necessarily wrong to find satisfaction in the gifts God has given us. The problem comes when we base our identity in those gifts. We run the risk of losing the ability to like ourselves when all of our self-esteem is wrapped up in being able to please certain people or perform certain tasks. Because what happens if we can’t do them anymore?

God wants you to see that you are not just Beauty Queen, Athlete, or Comedian. You are His child and He loves you not because you are pretty or smart. He loves you because He loves you.

Romans 5:8 says:
But God shows his love for us in that while we were still sinners, Christ died for us.

It doesn’t say: God shows His love for you while you were beautiful. It doesn’t say: God shows His love for you while you were winning races.

It does say: God shows His love for us while we were still messed up. It does say: Christ died for us when we didn’t look like much.

God loves us. Period.

And that is where your identity and pride should be based. Your self-esteem won’t be rocked as long as you keep in mind this one timeless truth: God loves you as you are.

Remember, you are not only Gifted Athlete, Amazing Brainiac, or even Ordinary Girl. You are a Child of the King.

This post is adapted from my book for teens: Divine Makeover: God Makes You Beautiful.

Are you looking for a meaningful Christian gift for a young lady? Consider Divine Makeover, a book that encourages young women to find their beauty and identity in Christ. It has a lot of fun along the way with clothing analogies and fashion tips. Find it here and here.

In sixth grade I had a spectacular fall because of a bit of pride.

The school I attended was part of a large church. During the school year each class took turns singing for the church services. Well, in sixth grade our entire class was learning to play the recorder. And we were getting pretty good. One day our teacher, Mr. Giese, announced that our class was going to perform for an evening service. Most of the class would sing, but three of us would be chosen to play the recorder part. I tried to play it cool when I was picked to be one of the three, but inside I was bursting with—I might as well say it—pride.

Before the church service that night, I changed into my dress—and my first pair of pantyhose! (Believe it or not—there was a time when pantyhose were cool.) I was really going to wow everyone tonight: new dress, recorder, and pantyhose.

When I got to the church, I climbed the stairs to the balcony with my beloved recorder. With each step I heard the organ music grow louder. At the top of the steps I paused at the back of the balcony and looked down the short flight of stairs to the front of the balcony. Mr. Giese was at the organ in front of me. Most of my classmates were already in the pews on either side of the aisle. Good. I could make a grand entrance.

I took a step. And another. Then disaster struck. Somehow I tripped and landed on my bottom with a thud loud enough for Mr. Giese to hear me above the organ music. Loud enough for him to stop playing and look to see what had happened. Loud enough for all the kids in my class to shake with quiet-as-possible laughter.

I looked down at my pantyhose. Both knees had holes the size of dinner plates. A million runners scampered up each leg. My brand new pantyhose were no longer so impressive.

My sixth-grade experience was a perfect example of Proverbs 16:18:

Pride goes before destruction, and a haughty spirit before a fall.

While that encounter with pride led to a literal fall, there have been many more times when my better-than-you attitude has resulted in humiliating failure. What is it about pride that trips me up? I think it may cause me to fall because I’m looking down at other people rather than watching where I’m going. I’m too busy staring at myself to notice any potential dangers. I’m so worried about how I look, that I forget to look around me.

In order to avoid the consequences of pride, I need to wear humility more often. The differences between pride and humility are striking:

Pride continually gazes at a mirror. Humility looks at the girl next to her.

Pride tries to focus all attention on herself. Humility asks her friend how she is doing.

Pride expects praise. Humility looks for ways to build up others.

Pride demands to be first. Humility pushes others to the front of the line.

Pride wonders what others think of her. Humility just thinks of others.

Avoid the fall. Wear humility.

Next step: Which of the contrasting statements about pride and humility resonates with you? Write it on a sticky note and post it where you will see it today.

To find out more about wearing humility, check out my Bible study book, Divine Design: 40 Days of Spiritual Makeover.

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