forgiveness Archives - Sharla Fritz

Sharla Fritz

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When You’re Feeling Unsettled, Dissastified

I often live unsettled, dissatisfied. But sometimes this can be a good thing.

This month I’m reading through the gospel of Mark. I’m slowly digesting one chapter a day. I’m allowing God’s words to unsettle my soul enough to draw me closer to Him and receive His grace.

It didn’t take long for the unsettling to happen. On the second day of my journey through this short book, I read a story that made me uncomfortable. Mark gives the account of four strong men who come to Jesus bringing along a friend who couldn’t walk–a paralytic.

The very first words Jesus said to the man lying helplessly on the stretcher were, “Your sins are forgiven” (Mark 2:5).

Now put yourself in the position of the man on the mat. Were those the words you were hoping to hear? Probably not. Most likely the words you wanted to hear were, “You are healed.”

But Jesus knew what the man needed most. What the paralytic needed more than healing was grace. What he needed more than the ability to walk was the ability to proceed on God’s path of life. What he needed most was forgiveness.

Like the man on the mat I come to Jesus with many pressing needs. I am convinced that if God would just grant this one request I would be happy. Okay, maybe two things. Or three.

But Jesus knows what I need most:

Forgiveness

And because He died an awful death in my place, because He defeated our most terrible foe, because He rose triumphant, forgiveness is available. Because the Holy Spirit worked faith in my heart and drew me closer to the cross, forgiveness is mine.

If you know the story of the paralytic, you know that Jesus didn’t make the man wait long before He also told him, “Get up and take your mat and go home” (Mark 2:11). The man received what he needed the most and what he probably wanted the most.

But what if Jesus had not healed the lifeless limbs? Would the man have been content? Would he been disappointed but then realize that peace in his soul was worth far more than strength in his legs?

The reason this story unsettled my soul is that I fear I would not have been satisfied with just the gift of forgiveness. I fear this because I often go to Jesus with what some perceived need and forget He has already given me what I require most. The desperate longings in my soul can seem more important than my most desperate need for forgiveness. And so I am not content.

Perhaps you can relate. You are facing loss. Pain. Discouragement. Your spirit is not content.

Maybe together we can pray that we would realize that God has already met our most crucial need. That He has given us grace. Healing for our souls. Life in His love.

Pray for contentment for the greatest gift: Forgiveness.

Spiritual Disciplines For When You Struggle With Forgiveness

What do you do when you struggle with forgiveness?

We’ve all been hurt. We’ve received unkind words. Other people have disappointed or deceived us. We may feel like those closest to us have stabbed our hearts or trampled our feelings in the dust.

We know we should forgive, but how?

Recently, Michelle Diercks and I had a conversation about this on her podcast “Peace in His Presence.” Click here to listen in!

Below you will find the main points of our conversation, along with other helpful information.

Spiritual Disciplines For When You Struggle With Forgiveness

We can’t forgive on our own—we need to go to God. And one of the ways I love to connect with Christ is through Spiritual Disciplines—practices that help us tap into God’s love and grace. Here are three disciplines that help me.

SACRED Reading

SACRED Reading is a way to meditate on God’s Word. Through times of reading, contemplation, and prayer we can hear God’s voice speak to us in the pages of Scripture.

The word SACRED is an acronym that helps me remember the steps in this practice. In the practice of SACRED reading we slow down and notice what the Holy Spirit draws our attention to. (Find the specific steps for SACRED Reading here.)

For instance, read Ephesians 4:31-32 and pay attention to what the Holy Spirit “highlights.”

Let all bitterness and wrath and anger and clamor and slander be put away from you, along with all malice. Be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, as God in Christ forgave you.

What word or phrase does God draw your attention to?

  • Is it “bitterness”? (Do you realize you have a lot of stored-up anger?)
  • Is it “slander”? (Are you convicted of speaking negatively about a certain person you are angry with?)
  • Is it “be kind to one another”? (Because you feel you could never show kindness to a certain person?)

After you meditate on the passage, empty your heart in prayer and ask God to heal your emotions and help you forgive.

For more information on SACRED Reading, go here.

When we struggle with forgiving others, we can meditate on the forgiveness we have already received. Try meditating on these Scriptures:

Meditating on Bible Stories

Another spiritual discipline you can use when you need God’s help to forgive is meditating on Bible stories.

In this practice, use your imagination to put yourself in a Bible story. Read a Gospel story and ask the Spirit to guide your thoughts. See the scene in your mind. What sounds do you hear? What scents are in the air? Picture yourself as one of the characters in the story.

This discipline helps me experience the story in a new way. Often the Holy Spirit will show me something I never noticed before in the Word. He will speak to me the exact message I need in that moment.

Meditating on the Gospel story about the woman caught in adultery can help you get a handle on forgiveness. Read John 8:3-11. Put yourself in the story. Picture Jesus writing in the sand. Notice the accused woman–her posture, the look on her face. Imagine the accusers–their expressions and the tone of their voices. Then ask yourself these questions.

1. What character do you identify with? The woman who has been caught? The people accusing the woman of wrongdoing?

2. What are you feeling? “The other person is the guilty one!” “God should throw the book at her—at the people who have wronged me!”

3. What does Jesus say? What is your reaction to those words?

4. Perhaps read the story one more time and see it from another perspective. Put yourself in the place of one of the other characters.

For more information on meditating on Bible stories, go here.

Other Bible stories on forgiveness to meditate on:

Prayer Journaling

Hurt feelings may take a long time to heal. We may need to forgive and forgive many times as those hurt feelings resurface. One way I use unburden my heart is prayer journaling.

You may feel uncomfortable at first writing down all of your messy emotions in a prayer. But I think we are in good company when we do this! Many of the psalms seem to be David’s way of unburdening his heart. I think God invites us to take all of our feelings to Him so that He can help us deal with them.

Here are a few ways to prayer journal when you struggle to forgive:

  • Use your journal to tell God all that bothers you. Tell Him about the hurt and pain. Ask Him to help you forgive.
  • Journal what the Holy Spirit is speaking to you through your SACRED Reading or meditating on Bible stories.
  • Write out the hurtful things you experienced. Then ask God to help you forgive and destroy the paper as a concrete way to demonstrate forgiveness.

For more information on prayer journaling, go here.

When we’ve been hurt, our natural reaction is to hang onto the anger, the bitterness, the hurt. We think this will cause the other person pain. But author Joanna Weaver wisely wrote:

Bitterness is like drinking poison and waiting for the other person to die.

Resentment and unforgiveness only cause us pain. God can help us forgive. Let’s go to His Word and receive His love, His grace, and His power to help us let go of past hurts. Live free in forgiveness.

Spring Cleaning: Let’s Throw Out Stored Hurt

Spring Cleaning-Stored Hurts 

Some things get better with age. Quality wine improves over the years. Some varieties of cheeses need time to age.

Clothes generally do not improve with age. Cotton t-shirts fade. Shoes get worn out. Wool sweaters get moth holes.

Another thing that does not get better over time is stored hurts.

Pain and hurt are inevitable in this life. No one gets the option of a pain-free life. However, we do have a choice about what we do with the hurt.

We can store the hurts in our hearts or we can let them go.

Spring Cleaning-Stored Hurts PIN

At times we may hold onto the pain, thinking this will hurt the person who caused the pain. But this bitterness is not harming the offender, it is poisoning out own souls.

God asks us to let go of the hurt–to make the choice to forgive:

And when you stand praying, if you hold anything against anyone, forgive them, so that your Father in heaven may forgive you your sins.
Mark 11:25

Instead of holding that hurt, forgive. Releasing it will free your soul. The longer we hang onto an offense, the more time it has to scar our hearts.

If it seems too difficult, pray for the ability to throw out that stored hurt. God has grace available to help us deal with the hurt and the hurter. He wants us to come to Him with our bruised hearts to receive both healing and the ability to forgive.

“As we receive the garment of forgiveness, Jesus unravels our bitterness and knits a new luxurious pattern for our lives.” (Divine Design, p. 177)

Toss out stored hurts.

Next step: Have you been hanging onto stored hurts? Ask God to give you the strength to forgive.

Book Review: Forgiveness

Unforgiveness drags joy behind the shed and beats it senseless

Human nature is not inclined to forgive. Instead, it is much more likely to grasp onto grudges and nurse bitterness.

In Forgiveness: Received from God – Extended to Others, author Donna Pyle tells about her own fight with unforgiveness when her husband walked out on their marriage. She responded to her pain by hunting up every passage in Scripture about forgiveness she could find. Now she shares her findings with others, helping all find the freeing path of forgiveness. She walks her readers through the Bible to discover exactly what is forgiveness.

She begins to explain forgiveness by telling what it is not. This dispelling of myths is especially helpful to those struggling to let go of hurt. Forgiveness is not about forgetting and it’s not excusing a sin or a crime. It’s not artificial nonchalance–pretending the actions of others were not painful. Forgiveness is not even about the offender–who may or may not be aware of the offense. Forgiveness is about freeing ourselves from the prison of hate and anger.

The study is laid out in Eight Lessons with each Lesson having five days of readings, questions that lead the reader to Scripture, and opportunities to reflect on the Lesson and apply it personally. I especially appreciated the reflection exercises. The questions help the reader to uncover deeply buried grudges and bitterness. Unearthing them and receiving God’s strength to forgive leads to the freedom only found in grace.

The book could be used for personal study, but would also be useful for groups. Each lesson has suggestions for discussion, corporate prayer, and connecting with group members.

Donna Pyle writes:

Forgiveness is a humanizing, dignifying, redemptive act of God.

Forgiveness frees us from the narrative of hate.

Forgiveness liberates us from our prisons.

Forgiveness moves us toward others to extend the Gospel of grace.

That is why forgiveness is not optional.

Forgiveness: Received from God — Extended to Others is available here and here.

home-donna-pyleA soul-stirring, engaging speaker, author, Bible teacher, and worship leader, Donna Pyle has a passion for studying and teaching God’s Word. Her clear, down-to-earth style encourages women of all ages to wholeheartedly love, serve, and live for Jesus Christ.

Since launching Artesian Ministries in 2007, Donna has scratched out over 20 Bible studies and enjoys the incredible privilege of traveling throughout the U.S. and internationally to speak and teach where the Lord opens doors.

Donna writes regularly on her blog, Hydrated Living, as she seeks to find beauty in the quiet and sacred in the chaos, treasuring that this path is a holy experience planned by God before the beginning of time.

A native, life-long Texan, Donna fuels her incredible journey with the Word, coffee, chocolate, family, friends and worship.

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