What do you do when angry words build up in your heart? How do you cool them down before they explode out of your mouth like heat-seeking missiles?

I remember the day when, as a newlywed, I decided to cook dinner using one of our wedding gifts—a pressure cooker. I had been learning about the benefits of a vegetarian diet in my nutrition class and was determined to try soybeans. My vegetarian cookbook said a pressure cooker was the fastest way to cook them.

I followed the directions for the correct amounts of water and soybeans, put the lid on my old-school pressure cooker, and popped the pressure valve on top. I turned on the burner and waited for the beans to cook. It wasn’t long before the pressure cooker began to make alarming noises—noises I had never heard before.

I ran to turn off the heat, but I was too late. The pressure valve flew off the kettle and the soybeans sprayed all over the ceiling. While I moaned about the mess, I think my husband secretly rejoiced that he didn’t have to eat the soybeans.

A Personal Pressure Valve

When I’m angry, my pressure valve may also be faulty. Sometimes it’s difficult not to spew all of my messy words into the room. In fact, we use phrases like these to describe our state of mind when we’re furious.

Hot under the collar.

All steamed up.

At the boiling point.

When you’re at the boiling point, angry words may erupt out of your mouth. All that steam inside can cause comments to explode out of your lips–comments you later regret.

Three Ways to Cool Angry Words

How can we cool down our angry words before they search and destroy like heat-seeking missiles?   Here are three suggestions I am going to try to put into practice this week:  

1. Ask “Why am I so angry?” When I reread 1 Corinthians 13:5, “[Love] is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs,” I noticed “self-seeking” is right before “easily angered.” Could my anger be because of a selfish attitude that needs to be addressed? 
2. Ask “What is the best way to talk about this problem?” Proverbs 15:1 says, “A gentle answer deflects anger, but harsh words make tempers flare.” I need to think through my words before I speak. Gentle, not harsh words will be more effective.
3. Ask God for a pressure valve to control my anger. Proverbs 29:11 says, “A fool gives full vent to his anger, but a wise man keeps himself under control.” Before I vent all that anger, I need to remember to ask God to give me wisdom and the ability to control my temper. I will pray for wisdom to know what should be expressed and what should be held back.

Those soybeans on the ceiling? Some vigorous scrubbing removed them. But the words that escape my lips can never be taken back.

I may not be able to control my angry words, but God can replace the valve and prevent an eruption of rage. I pray for the wisdom to know what should be expressed and what should be held back.

It is tempting to give “full vent” to our spirit, but if we are wise we will turn down the heat, ask God to replace the pressure valve, and hold back our harmful words.

Next step: When tempted to explode in anger, turn down the heat, step back, and ask yourself, “Why am I so angry?” “What’s the best way to talk about this problem?” And then ask God for wise words.

A few years ago I went to a cosmetics expert at a department store and asked for a mouth makeover. Patty, my makeup artist for the day, first used an exfoliator that softened my lips by removing dead skin and rough spots. Then she used a product that moisturized, repaired, and plumped my lips. The next step in my mouth makeover was a lip liner used to define my lips and to help the lipstick adhere. Patty followed that with a long-lasting lip color in a gorgeous neutral color. Finally, she added a dab of sparkly lip gloss in the middle of my lips to add a bit more shine.

If I had wanted to, I also could have purchased lip balm, lip primer, and lip sealer.

Who knew it took so many products to achieve the perfect pout?

All this got me thinking–could it be possible to have a true mouth makeover? Certainly obtaining the perfect shade of lipstick is not an issue of eternal significance. But what if I could change the shade of my words and not just the color of my lips? Could I get a mouth makeover that really mattered?

I’m not likely to pay $50 for a fancy lipstick, but if I could, I would pay twice that to buy a lip product that would enable me to say just the right thing at just the right time. I would definitely purchase the lipstick that would prevent me from nagging at my husband. I would pay dearly for the lip gloss that would stop me before I yelled at my kids.

Unfortunately, I’ve never seen any products like that advertised–not even on the Home Shopping Network.

Even though there are no miracle lipsticks, I decided to pursue a Mouth Makeover anyway.

I began by searching through the Bible for all the verses about our mouths. And it turns out there a quite a lot of them. Did you know that in the book of Proverbs alone there are 108 verses about our lips, tongues, and mouths? Hmm…perhaps God thinks a Mouth Makeover is important too?

I spent a year studying what God had to say about our words and then striving to put them into practice. I often messed up, but gradually I made fewer mouth mistakes. I began to understand the power of words.

I wrote what I learned in my book, Bless These Lips, so you could embark on your own Mouth Makeover.

This book helps us to go to our Heavenly Makeup Artist for a true Mouth Makeover. God will help us use a spiritual version of an exfoliator to scrub off our negative words. He can teach us to use a soothing lip balm that will help us to spread encouragement. His Word, like a fully stocked cosmetics bag, has all the tools necessary to beautify our lips with praise and truth.

I certainly still have a long way to go in my own Mouth Makeover, but over the past year I have seen that making an effort in changing my words has improved my relationships. Changing what came out of my mouth affected my attitude toward life. Altering my tongue’s response enriched my connection to God as I spent more time in prayer and praise.

And something my husband said last week made all my efforts worth it. I realized he could see a difference in my speech when he casually remarked, “Thanks for being so nice this past year–really nice.” 

I hope that my book will help you in your own Mouth Makeover.  As you study what God has to say about our words in His Word, I pray you will realize:

God has given you a unique mission to speak His words of love and grace to a lost and discouraged world.

To find out more about Bless These Lips and how it can help you share words that encourage and transform the people in your lives, check it out here and here.