Spiritual Growth Archives - Page 10 of 13 - Sharla Fritz
March 3, 2015

Side Effects of…Praising God

We praise God because He deserves praise, but even while we praise who He is, we may experience positive side effects.

My husband has been diagnosed with lymphoma and has begun the road to recovery. Recently he had his first round of chemotherapy. The effects of the drugs were amazing. Just three short days after competing the infusion of drugs, we saw a major reduction in the visible tumors! We praise God for the healing that is taking place.

Unfortunately there are also negative side-effects. He has a severe sore throat–making talking very painful. One of the drugs gives extreme exhaustion. But one of the other medicines has the maddening side effect of the inability to sleep.

In all of life we experience unexpected side effects to circumstances and choices in our lives–not all of them positive. But there is one choice we can make that promises many positive side effects–

the choice to praise God

Of course, we praise God simply because He deserves praise. Psalm 65:1 says, “Praise is due to you, O God, in Zion.” God is holy, mighty, loving, generous, and merciful. He is the King of the universe and the Lord of our hearts and so we praise Him. In fact, there are times when our hearts nearly burst with praise for the Ruler of all–who is also the One who holds our hands.

But even while we are praising God for who He is, we may experience some side effects:

Praise lifts our souls out of despair. In Psalm 42:5 the psalmist instructs his soul to praise God, “Why, my soul, are you downcast?  Why so disturbed within me? Put your hope in God, for I will yet praise him, my Savior and my God” (NIV) He doesn’t feel like praising the Lord in that moment, but He knows God is the source of hope. When we praise God we change our focus from our problems to the God who is bigger than any difficulty. Despair is defeated and hope is reborn.

Praise brings us to the presence of God. You may have heard the phrase, “God inhabits the praises of His people,” This is a paraphrase of Psalm 22:3, “But thou art holy, O thou that inhabitest the praises of Israel” (KJV). God, of course, is present everywhere. He inhabits every church, every home, every valley, every forest–but we don’t always notice Him. Praising the Lord of the universe reminds us He is right here with us.

Praise lets others know what God has done. Praise is an effective evangelism tool. Psalm 40:3 says, “He put a new song in my mouth, a song of praise to our God. Many will see and fear and put their trust in the Lord.” People are looking for the answers to their problems. They are searching for something bigger than themselves. When we praise God for what He has done and for who He is, others see the difference God makes. They are drawn to the God of mercy and love.

So praise God. Praise Him for His power, generosity, and grace. Experience the positive side effects.

Filed Under: Spiritual Growth Tagged With: ,
February 24, 2015

How to Truly Love Yourself: The Four Degrees of Love

I tend to have a love/hate relationship with myself. Maybe you can relate. Perhaps you also find it hard to love yourself.

On days things are going smoothly, we are pleased. But on days we mess up we might be disappointed with our performance and even despise who we are.

Popular culture says some of the keys to loving ourselves are not expecting perfection from ourselves and not comparing ourselves to others.  Loving ourselves means learning to nurture ourselves and forgive ourselves. Listing our best qualities and practicing receiving love are keys to loving ourselves.

These are all useful tools. But I think one crucial element in truly loving yourself comes in learning the four degrees of love.

 

Recently I read a devotion by Bernard of Clairvaux.   A supervisor of a monastery in France, he lived from 1090 – 1153. His writings influenced Luther and many other Christians. His book On the Love of God outlines the four degrees of love.

1. The first degree of love–love of self for self’s sake. This is our selfish preoccupation with our own needs. It is a sort of natural love for ourselves, wanting everything to revolve around us. 1 Tim 3:2 talks about this kind of love, “For people will be lovers of self and [utterly] self-centered, lovers of money and aroused by an inordinate [greedy] desire for wealth, proud and arrogant and contemptuous boasters.” (Amplified Bible) It’s not a true love for ourselves, but a love for comfort and fame and attention for ourselves.

2. The second degree of love–love of God for self’s sake. When we can’t meet our own needs and experience a crisis, we crawl to God and beg Him for help. We love God for His blessings. We see this love in Psalm 116:1, “I love the Lord because he has heard my voice and my pleas for mercy.” This is not a bad love, but it is still a self-centered love.

3. The third degree of love–love of God for God’s sake. As we grow in faith, we grow to love God in a deeper way. We realize that He is more than a genie who solves our problems. Through worship, prayer, and time in His Word, we come to truly know God and love Him for who He is and not just for what He can give us. 1 Peter 1: 6, 8 describes this kind of love, “In this you rejoice, though now for a little while, if necessary, you have been grieved by various trials…Though you have not seen him, you love him. Though you do not now see him, you believe in him and rejoice with joy that is inexpressible and filled with glory.”

4. The fourth degree of love–love of self for God’s sake. Bernard explains that this love is experienced only fleetingly in this world. But when we experience a oneness with God and can pray from the heart, “Thy will be done,” we lose our self-preoccupation. We don’t dwell on our needs. That’s when we truly love ourselves.

I think that this love of ourselves for God’s sake only comes when we truly see ourselves as the forgiven, much-loved daughters of the King. We don’t love ourselves because we have performed well. We don’t love ourselves because we deserve love. We love ourselves because we see ourselves through God’s eyes. Because of Jesus, He sees us redeemed and righteous. He calls us precious and honored and loved (Isaiah 43:4).  1 John 5:19 says, “We love because He first loved us.” It is only because of Christ’s love that we can love ourselves or others.

I love the words of 1 John 4:16.

And so we know and rely on the love God has for us. God is love. Whoever lives in love lives in God, and God in him.

Rely on the love God has for you. That’s when you can truly love yourself. That’s when you can truly love others.

Filed Under: God's Relentless Love, Spiritual Growth Tagged With: , ,
February 17, 2015

Finding Focus — in Lent

 

Psalm 278

 

I’m on a quest to find more focus in my life. To zero in on the important and to ignore the rest.

To help me in this quest I am going to observe the holy Lenten season. Lent is the period of forty days leading up to Easter (Sundays are not included in the count.) It is a period of focusing on Christ and His enormous sacrifice and boundless love for us. During this time we can abandon the frivolous and concentrate on the eternal. It can be a season of transformation as we pull our chair closer to hear God’s words to us.

Three tools I am going to use to concentrate on the spiritual during this time are:

Fasting. The whole idea of forty days of Lent may have been inspired by Jesus’ forty-day fast before He began His earthly ministry. But please don’t try this at home. Fasting as a spiritual discipline can have life-changing effects, but forty days is extreme. Try fasting one day a week during this season of Lent. Or give up a favorite food or activity for forty days. In the past I have abstained from chocolate, ice cream, TV watching and shopping. When I do this kind of focused fast I am reminded of Jesus’ sacrifice every time I deny myself a simple pleasure.

Bible study. Lean in to hear God speak by spending more time in His Word during the next forty days. There are many ways to do this. My Bible studies Soul Spa, Divine Design and Bless These Lips are designed to be completed in 40 days. This year I am leading a journey through practicing Spiritual Disciplines. My daughter and her husband have written a family Lenten devotional.

I have been praying about how God would like me to spend time in His Word these 40 days. Continuing with my theme of focus, I have decided to concentrate on one book of the Bible. Philippians seems the perfect book as it talks about Christ’s sacrifice and becoming more like Him. I am going to prayerfully read this book every day of Lent asking God to change me through His Word.

Focus on Christ. Fasting and Bible study can become merely rituals of Lent. If we’re not concentrating on Christ, they are only outward habits that will not transform our souls. But if I recall Jesus’ sacrifice when I turn down that piece of three-layer chocolate cake, my heart can be content with God’s presence. If I listen for the Holy Spirit’s voice as I read the Word, He can satisfy my soul.

Jesus is ready to bless you with joy, love, and transforming grace. Receive His blessings. Look for Him in the ordinary moments of this Lenten season. Hear His voice speak His care for you in His Word.

Filed Under: Bible Study, Spiritual Growth Tagged With: , , ,
February 3, 2015

Three Steps To Take When Life Punches You In The Gut

Romans 15-13

What do you do when life punches you in the gut? When circumstances deliver a devastating blow?

2014 was a joyous year for us. Our son got married to a wonderful young woman. Our daughter and her family flew from China to join in the wedding. They spent two months here in the states–we had abundant opportunities to play with our grandchildren.

Then 2015 arrived–with news of cancer. My husband John was diagnosed with lymphoma. For months we reeled from this punch. Sometimes life hits you hard and you are totally unprepared.

I know that we are not the only ones who have been hit hard. Some of you have experienced your own illnesses, chronic pain, job losses, and financial difficulties. Maybe even all of these at once.

This leg of our journey wasn’t our most joyful, but this is how we tried to handle this devastating blow. In addition to finding the best doctors and medical care: I:

1. I found comfort in God’s Word. I searched through Scripture, hunting down all God’s promises of His presence and peace. Some of my favorites:

  • May the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace as you trust in him. Romans 15:13
  • My Presence will go with you, and I will give you rest. Exodus 33:14
  • Before they call I will answer; while they are yet speaking I will hear. Isaiah 65:24

2. I called on others to stand with us in prayer. It was hard to tell people the difficult news. We often broke down in a puddle of tears. Yet we felt incredible love and support from our church, our family, and our friends. One couple invited us over for chicken soup with a side of prayer when we first heard the news. Church members gave us innumerable hugs. A simple request for prayer on Facebook drew 100 comments.

3. I took time each day to focus on what really matters. Each year I choose one word for the year. Ironically, that year I chose the word focus. Well, there is nothing like shocking news to make you focus on what is truly important. At times, this was as simple as just sitting with my wonderful hubby and holding his hand. It was as uncomplicated as sitting quietly and soaking in God’s love.

I pray that our heavenly Father will strengthen you in whatever you are going through today. When life punches you in the gut, may these three simple steps help you find strength in the One who loves you and is holding your hand.

And if you’re interested in learning more about how to find focus in troubled times, check out my book Distracted: Finding Faith-Focus Habits in a Frenzied World. This book is a compilation of all the lessons I learned during that difficult year. The e-book is only $3.99!

Filed Under: Spiritual Growth Tagged With: , , , ,
January 20, 2015

For When You Feel Ordinary

I took a step back and looked at the bride. She was radiant in her white gown. A smile lit up her face when she saw her reflection in the mirrors all around the room. Her beauty was obvious.

During my college years I worked at a bridal salon each summer. I got to work with stunning bridal gowns, lovely bridesmaids’ dresses, and gorgeous formals. I could run my fingers over smooth satin and intricate lace. I was able to see the latest designs covered with sequins and pearls. Each dress was a work of art.

But what made the job especially interesting was to see the transformation of the girls who came in to try on the dresses. Since it was summertime, most of them came in to the store wearing shorts, flip-flops, and a tee shirt. Not particularly glamorous.

When a girl arrived for her fitting, I showed her to a room covered with mirrors and brought in her dress. I slipped the dress over her head. From the smiles visible in every mirror, I could tell she felt like a princess. In just a few minutes, she was transformed from an ordinary girl in summer shorts to a dazzling beauty in a stunning gown.

The Holy Spirit does something like that for us in our hearts. Because of Adam and Eve’s sin, we are born with dirty hearts. We are hopeless and helpless. But when we first receive the gift of faith, the Holy Spirit begins our divine makeover. He starts by clothing us in Christ.

Galatians 3:26-27 says:

For in Christ Jesus you are all sons of God, through faith. For as many of you as were baptized into Christ have put on Christ.

What does it mean to put on Christ? When we put on clothes, they cover our bodies. When people look at us they see the outfit, not our skin. When we put on Christ, He is the one that others see. In God’s eyes we are no longer ordinary girls, we are princesses in His kingdom.   We are radically changed.  

Putting on Christ is not just playing dress-up. The Holy Spirit changes us from the inside out. A beautiful gown may make you look like a princess, but when you are clothed with Christ, you truly are a princess—a child of the King.

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This post was adapted from my new book for teen girls:Divine Makeover: God Makes You Beautiful  Check it out!

Filed Under: Spiritual Growth Tagged With: , ,
January 8, 2015

3 Steps To Take When You’ve Been Punched Out With Words

My ears burned. My heart hurt.

I had just received a thirty-minute toungue-lashing over the phone. I wanted to ignore the person on the other end. I wanted to hang up. But deep inside I felt God wanted me to not turn away. He didn’t want me to sever the relationship. So I stayed on the line.

We all deal with criticism. Sometimes “suggestions for improvement” are given gently or lovingly. But often a conversation can leave us reeling from the verbal blows.

How can we deal with hurtful words?

Proverbs 12:15-16 has some principles on dealing with hurtful words:

Fools think their own way is right,
    but the wise listen to others.

 A fool is quick-tempered,
    but a wise person stays calm when insulted. (NLT)

From these verses I can see three steps to take when someone punches out our soul with their words.

  1. Hear. First we need to hear. Don’t immediately shut the person out. Proverbs tells us that fools always think their way is right, but the wise listen. The wise keep emotions in check even when they are insulted. When I heard the screaming voice on the other end of the phone, I wanted to hang up right away, but I listened.
  2. Ask. After we have heard the other person’s words, we need to ask God what to do with them. Is there some truth in the criticism? Even though the words could have been delivered in a kinder way, perhaps they contain a bit of truth you need to hear. Proverbs tells us, “The wise listen to others.” Although I certainly didn’t want to admit it, my critic did have a point. I had made a mistake.
  3. Discern. Finally discern what to do with the hurtful words. If there is some truth to the message do what needs to be done. Admit your faults. Apologize. Make amends. But if the criticism doesn’t apply to you throw it out. If the words are simply untrue, mean-spirited, and hypercritical toss them in the trash. Perhaps this time you simply need to  “overlook the insult” (Proverbs 12:16 NIV). After I understood the angry caller’s point, I admitted my mistake and apologized. But a lot of the other things she said were simply wrong perceptions of my actions. I let them go.

At times the words we hear feel like a stab to the heart. But we need to remember that God can work out everything for good for those who love Him. So listen to the words, ask God what to do with them, and discern whether they are truth or simply trash.

Next step: Look at the three steps outlined by Proverbs 12: 15-16. Ask God how to handle the hurtful words you receive.

Words matter. They can hurt or they can heal. If you want to learn more about using your words to build up the people in your lives, check out my book Bless These Lips–a 40-day guide to learning how to use your mouth to bless those around you. It’s available here and here.

Filed Under: Spiritual Growth, Taming Your Tongue Tagged With: ,
December 9, 2014

Book Review: Storm Sisters

What exactly is a storm sister?

Read author Afton Rorvik’s definition:

Storm Sister (n)–a friend who sticks close when storms hit her friend’s life. Such a friend might also go by the title of sister, longtime friend, rediscovered friend, or acquaintance who offers or accepts friendship in a crisis. This type of friendship particularly thrives among women connected first to God.

We have all had times in our lives when we needed someone to stand by us. When a child was ill or a parent was dying or we were struggling with the darkness of depression. Thank God for  storm sisters!

There are also times when we need to be that storm sister. But sometimes it is difficult to know what to do for a friend who is struggling with tough times in her life. We are not sure what to say, what not to say, what to do, what not to do.

Afton Rorvik’s book teaches us how to step gently into the lives of those who are hurting. Through her own story of storm sisterhood, she demonstrates how to give meaningful help.

The book was born out of the author’s own experience as she watched her mother die of a rare neurological disease at about the same time a close friend found out her three-year-old had a brain tumor. These two friends learned how to support each other through the aches of life. Now Afton is sharing what she learned.

The book is full of beautiful sisterhood stories and practical advice. It is both an intimate journey of Afton’s own experiences and practical help for those who want to be a storm sister. One part of the book I especially liked was “What if” questions at the end of every chapter. For example:

What if?

We all struggle to recognize and admit our need. What might happen if in just one friendship, you both found the courage to speak of your deep-down needs?

At the end of the book you will also find reflection/discussion questions and an exploration of what the Bible has to say on the subject.

This book would be an excellent choice for a book club or Bible study group. It is helpful for every woman who has a hurting friend.

But even if you don’t need advice on how to help a storm sister, it is a beautiful story of the relationship a mother and daughter supported by a myriad of friends.

Question: Who has been a storm sister for you?

Filed Under: Spiritual Growth Tagged With:
September 23, 2014

The One Way to Truly Manage Stress

How do you manage stress? Picture these modern stress management scenarios.

A young woman rushes into Starbucks, brows knitted, fists clenched tight and orders a Venti Mocha Latte, “Double espresso please.”

A child chews on the eraser end of her pencil as she bends over her social studies test.

Fighting through rush-hour traffic a man tightly grips his steering wheel and screams at the driver who just cut him off.

All of these people tried relieving their stress in different ways.

A few years ago I attended a workshop on overcoming stress. There is no way to escape stress. We all face work deadlines, family responsibilities, monthly bills, crazy-mad traffic, and long, long, long checkout lines.

The speaker at the workshop said that while stress solutions like deep breathing and cat naps might reduce stress for awhile, there is only one real way to truly manage stress.

Change your mindset.

Since we can’t change the length of the checkout line or the work deadline, we must change how we think about them.

Often when we are under stress we have a series of sentences we repeat over and over to ourselves. For instance, when a work deadline looms your brain might sing a refrain of:

I’m just no good at this.

I’ll never get the project done on time.

Surely, I will fail.

These choruses will not reduce stress–only increase them. What we need to do instead is change the channel in our heads to play a different song. Instead of telling yourself, “I’m no good at this” you might tell yourself “The boss wouldn’t give me this job if she didn’t think I could do it” or “I mastered that other difficult program, I will conquer this task too.”

As Christians, we can take this one step further and use the power of Scripture to compose our truth songs. When the brain starts singing the tune “I’m no good at this” you can counter with:

I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me (Philippians 4:13 NKJV). While we may need to do something difficult, God promises to be with us and give us what we need to accomplish the task.

It is God who arms me with strength and keeps my way secure (Psalm 18:32 NIV). When we need stress relief, we go to the Father who promises strength for our tired souls and security in Him even in this uncertain world.

Peace I leave with you; my peace I give to you. Not as the world gives do I give to you. Let not your hearts be troubled, neither let them be afraid. (John 14:27 ESV). Yes, we may be stressed out, but Jesus tells us to chase that stress away because He can give us peace. Peace that doesn’t depend on everything going just as planned, but peace in Him no matter the circumstances we find ourselves in.

If people’s thinking is controlled by the sinful self, there is death. But if their thinking is controlled by the Spirit, there is life and peace. (Romans 8:6 NCV). If we ask the Holy Spirit to transform our thoughts, He can change our thinking from worry and anxiety to life and peace.

Use the power of Scripture to combat stress!

Next step: Which Scripture will help you most in managing your stress? Somehow make it visible today: write it on a card to carry with you, scribble it on a sticky note to post on your bathroom mirror, make it your screen saver on your phone. Remind yourself that although we may not be able to change our stressful circumstances, we can change how we think about them.

Filed Under: Spiritual Growth Tagged With: , ,
September 16, 2014

The One Key to a Successful Day

How do you define a successful day? By how much you get done?

This is my to-do list for today:

  • Clean bathrooms
  • Dust furniture
  • Do grocery shopping
  • Finish this blog post

Some days my to-do list is longer. Some days it is shorter. But on all days I tend to think that I am only successful if I have been able to check off everything on that list. I give myself a pat on the back if I am able to finish all the tasks I set out to do.

But I read something today that challenged my definition of a productive day. Read this from the devotional Jesus Calling and hear Jesus’ voice speaking:

Remember that your ultimate goal is not to control or fix everything around you; it is to keep communing with Me. A successful day is one in which you have stayed in touch with Me, even if many things remain undone at the end of the day.

If you’re a Type A person like me, that probably stops you in your tracks. Too long I have tied success to the idea of being productive. But what Jesus really wants us to do is to turn our attention to Him.

Proverbs 3:6 tells us:

Listen for God’s voice in everything you do, everywhere you go; he’s the one who will keep you on track. (MSG)

Even as we are cleaning the bathroom and vacuuming the living room we can mentally put ourselves in His presence.

Even as we are wiping a child’s dirty face or doing the laundry we can  feel His love.

Even as we are peeling carrots and stirring the macaroni and cheese we can listen for His voice and feel His presence.

God is changing my definition of a successful day.

A successful day is not necessarily one where everything on my to-do list is checked off. A successful day is one where I have kept in touch with God moment by moment.

Filed Under: Spiritual Growth
August 19, 2014

God is a God of Celebration?

This month has been a time of celebration for my family. My son (the baby of the family) got married on August 9! My husband performed the service, I sang a song, the little grandsons were all ring bearers. At the reception we feasted, laughed, and danced until our feet ached.

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August 9th was not only my son’s wedding day, but my wedding anniversary! Here’s a picture of John and me with our wedding photo.

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This August 9 will be a time of celebration that will live long in my memory.

Did you know our God is a God of celebration?

For much of my life, that thought seemed incongruous with the Lord I knew. Growing up, God seemed to be a God of serious thought and solemn ceremonies, not a God of rejoicing and celebrating.

But looking closer in the Scriptures, I see God truly is a God of celebration. In the Old Testament Yahweh commanded His chosen people to observe seven feasts each year. For three of these feasts they were to abandon their work and travel to Jerusalem to celebrate their God (Deuteronomy 16:16). These were times of feasting and rejoicing—times to thank God for what He had done for them in the past and revel in the blessings He had bestowed on them in the present.

In the New Testament Jesus was known as a partier. The Pharisees criticized Him for eating and drinking with sinners (Matthew 9:11). People wondered why the Pharisees and John the Baptist’s followers fasted, but Jesus’ disciples went on eating and drinking (Luke 6:33). Parties were a favorite theme in Jesus’ parables. The people in His stories celebrated finding a lost lamb, a lost coin, and a lost son (Luke 15). Jesus even compared the kingdom of God to a sumptuous banquet (Luke 14:15-24).

Too often my worship of my generous, caring, loving God is sedate, somber, and dull. But I want to learn how to celebrate!

Instead of absent-mindedly mumbling my way through worship on Sunday, I want to passionately express love to my King. Instead of looking cool, calm, and collected, I’m going to clap along with the praise songs and sing the hymns at the top of my lungs.

Maybe I’ll even dance. Some churches even use liturgical dance to celebrate our awesome God. I may not dance in church, but maybe I can do it in the privacy of my own home. Admittedly this may feel a bit risky and undignified. But I will be in good company. King David was criticized by his wife, Michal, when He worshiped without inhibitions. David was focused on praising God and not on how he looked. He told Michal, “I will celebrate before the Lord” (2 Samuel 6:21 emphasis mine).

So this week celebrate our awesome God. Sing and clap and dance your worship!

Question: Give your reaction to the statement: Our God is a God of celebration.

Filed Under: Spiritual Growth Tagged With: , , ,
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