Contentment Archives - Page 4 of 4 - Sharla Fritz
November 18, 2014

How to Live with a Holy Longing

A holy longing.

I love that phrase.

There are a lot of things I long for: my family nearby, time with friends, a little more success, a new handbag, dark chocolate that has no calories. The list could go on and on.

I tend to beat myself up about this because the really disturbing thing is that even when one of my desires is met, I’m not immediately satisfied. Instead of sitting back and thinking–Now I have everything I want, all is well–I start wanting the next thing on my list.

Lately, I’ve been wondering what is wrong with me. After all, I’ve been a Christian a long time. I should have made a little more progress on this contentment thing.

Then I read this quote by Augustine:

The whole life of the good Christian is a holy longing.

Suddenly everything made sense. A good Christian will not be satisfied here on earth. In our hearts we will always be longing for more because we were made for more than this world. No matter how big our houses are, or how successful we are, or how much money we have in the bank, we will naturally want more. While all of those things can be good things, they won’t truly satisfy.

2 Corinthians 5:2 puts it this way:

“For in this tent we groan, longing to put on our heavenly dwelling.”

In this life we groan, because whatever we have now simply can’t be enough. We yearn for the time when we will be in heaven, perfected in holiness united with Christ.

Perhaps this is one of those unlikely truths in God’s kingdom, but when I realized that I won’t be satisfied while here on earth, I began to be more content.

To me, living with a holy longing means:

  • I don’t have everything I want–but God has given me some amazing gifts–I can be thankful.
  • I don’t have everything I desire–but I’m trusting that my Lord is leading me on an amazing adventure–I can watch in expectation for His plan.
  • I don’t have everything I long for–but I know that someday I will–I can begin to hold my Savior’s hand with patience.

All my little wantings–all my silly desires for cute shoes and dazzling success–are actually a shadow of something deeper:

a holy longing.

Next step: How would you describe a holy longing? Contemplate on how living with a holy longing can help you be more content.

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August 28, 2014

Book Review: Teach Us to Want

Many, like me, imagine desire and faith in a boxing ring, facing off like opponents.

Jen Pollock Michel makes that statement in the first chapter of her book, Teach Us to Want: Longing, Ambition & the Life of Faith. This engrossing and challenging book is a theology of desire explored through the words of the Lord’s Prayer.

I, too, have seen desire and faith as opponents: my old self wanting my desires to win and my new self rooting for faith. I have often complained that I have a dysfunctional “wanter.” After all, my health would be so much better if I wanted to do push-ups and eat salad instead of craving couch time and Mint Moose Tracks ice cream. My spiritual life would be easier if I only desired what God desired. In fact, maybe life would be better if I simply didn’t have any desires.

But Michel makes the case that desires are a natural part of us. Without desire we don’t have the fuel to move ahead in life. Our unique desires are part of who we are. Yes, our “wanters” can be corrupted, and so we must be careful to guard our hearts, but desire can be what draws us closer to God.

Reading Teach Us to Want helped me learn a lot of desire:

  • Desire pulls us to our heavenly Father as we pray for what we need.
  • Examining our desires can lead to self-discovery and transformation.
  • Unmet desire is a training program for learning to trust a gracious God.
  • We want too much and we want too little.
  • It is not self-effort that recalibrates our wanters. Only God’s grace can turn our heart’s desires toward His kingdom.

Desire has been a topic I have long struggled with. Teach Us to Want untangled a lot of my thoughts on the subject. In fact, now that I have finished reading it, I plan to read it again. It is a meaty book, filled with honest transparency and personal stories.

I think this quote from the last chapter sums up Teach Us to Want:

There is a biblical case for wanting and wanting well…Although easily corrupted, desire is good, right and necessary. It is a force of movement in our lives, a means of transportation. It can be the very thing that motivates us to change and that carries us to God…Growing into maturity doesn’t mean abandoning our desires, but growing in our discernment of them.

Check out Teach Us to Want on Amazon.

Jen Pollock Michel is a writer, speaker, and mother of five. She is a regular contributor for Christianity Today’s her.meneutics and also writes for Today in the Word, a monthly devotional published by The Moody Bible Institute.  Jen earned her B.A. in French from Wheaton College and her M.A. in Literature from Northwestern University. She lives in Toronto, Canada, with her family and blogs at jenpollockmichel.com. You can follow Jen on Twitter @jenpmichel.

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May 6, 2014

When You Struggle to Say Yes to God’s Plan

Sometimes I have a hard time accepting God’s plan for my life. You too?

I remember a conversation I had with my daughter as I was tucking her into bed when she was about four. I said something like, “Anna, you are getting so big! Pretty soon you’ll be all grown up!”

And Anna, very serious at the thought of being an adult, looked at me and said, “Mom are there any houses on our street that are empty?” Awww…my daughter wanted to live close to me when she grew up.

So imagine my surprise when she got married and moved to—China!

Let me tell you I did not take this news well. Especially because not only did Anna and her husband move 7000 miles away—they had the audacity to take my grandchildren with them. No more chasing giggling toddlers through the halls, snuggling on the couch with them reading storybooks, or laughing along with Winnie-the-Pooh videos. Now my husband John and I had to settle for playing peek-a-boo on Skype and getting pictures of our grandchildren through email. As a result, I was about as upbeat as Eeyore on life-support.

Lately I’ve been studying the life of Mary, the mother of Jesus, and I was struck by how she willingly accepted God’s plan for her life. When the angel Gabriel came to tell her that she was going to be the mother of Jesus, she questioned how that was going to happen because she was a virgin, but she didn’t complain that being pregnant before marriage was going to make life difficult. She didn’t whine about being the subject of gossip. She didn’t even bring up the point that her fiance Joseph would surely not believe her strange story about an angel and a virgin pregnancy.

Mary simply said yes to God’s plan.

And because I was struggling with saying yes to God’s plan for my life I wondered: How was she able to do that?

When I examine Luke’s Gospel, I see three reasons she was able to accept God’s plotline for her story.

Mary Believed God Was With Her

First, I think she could say yes because she believed Gabriel’s words, “Greetings, O favored one, the Lord is with you!” (Luke 1:28). She believed that God was right there with her.

I wonder if she felt God’s presence at that moment. Seeing a heavenly being, hearing God’s words to her—it’s hard for me to imagine she didn’t have a sure sense of His love in that moment. In time held still, with God’s presence all around her and His love shining into her heart, all of the possible consequences of rejection and ridicule faded away. She said yes to God’s plan because she trusted that God was with her. And she knew that if God was holding her hand, she could get through anything.

But even when we don’t feel God’s presence, we have the promise that He is always with us. That same Messiah that Mary trusted and carried, promises all of us in Matthew 28:20,

“I am with you always, to the end of the age.”

Gradually, I learned to say yes to God’s plan for my daughter and her family even though I wish they weren’t so far away. I’ve been learning to say yes because I am trusting the Lord is with me. If I hold onto God’s hand I can say yes, because He is with me–and with them.

We can say yes to God’s plan when we trust that He will walk beside us.

Mary Said Yes With Humility

Secondly, Mary could say to God’s plan because of humility.

Mary was given a difficult situation. She was asked to yes to a plan that included being pregnant before marriage. This plan came with a certain dose of humiliation. She probably heard whispers of, “What a tramp!” and “Joseph deserves so much better” as she walked the streets of Nazareth. And yet Mary said yes to God’s plan.

Listen to her words from Luke 1:

“My soul magnifies the Lord,
    and my spirit rejoices in God my Savior,
for he has looked on the humble estate of his servant.”

Luke 1:46-47

Mary magnified the Lord–not herself. She rejoiced in God–not in her superior plan. She talked about her humble estate–not how she deserved better.

Sometimes I’m tempted to think that it was easy for Mary to yes to God’s plan. After all she was selected for the most special role any woman could have—she was going to be the mother of the Savior. Who wouldn’t want to be the most special?

But think about it—very few people during Mary’s lifetime truly understood her unique calling. Most people would have seen her either as a tramp, someone who violated God’s laws, or as a crazy person, someone claiming to have a virgin birth.

And that’s why it’s so amazing that she responded to Gabriel with the words, “Let it be to me as you have said.” Her humility enabled her to say yes to God.

Mary Saw Her Humble Life As A Part of God’s Grand Plan

Thirdly, Mary was able to say yes to God because she understood her small life was a piece of God’s big plan.

Perhaps you also struggle with accepting life as it is right now. Sometimes it’s hard to say yes to God’s plan because we wish for a bigger stage or a heftier reward. We want something more exciting or more romantic or more beautiful. Life just seems so—ordinary.

You may feel like you are nothing special. But the Bible tells us that each of us has been selected for a unique calling (Ephesians 4:10). Only one woman is mother to your children. Only one woman is the wife of your husband. Only one woman can minister to the needs of your church with your specific God-given gifts. Only one woman can reach into your world with your particular skill set.

When we feel ordinary we need to remember that is not how God sees us.

God sees you as special. God sees you as unique. God sees you as a one-of-a-kind person with a one-of-a-kind life.

All those tears you wipe away, all those dishes you wash, all those memos you type all add up to one incredible life when you see them through God’s eyes.

We can say yes to God when in humility we see our small lives as an essential part of God’s grand plan.

Next step: What is God asking you to say yes to? What from Mary’s story will help you say yes to His plan? His presence? Humility? Realizing your life is a part of God’s grand plan? Write a prayer expressing all your feelings to the One who loves you.

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October 15, 2013

When You Feel Empty

come empty

To feel empty is not usually a pleasant feeling, and yet sometimes it’s necessary.

Last Saturday night I had dinner with some friends at an awesome Mexican restaurant. We pigged out on chips and salsa, beef, chicken, and amazing enchiladas. We ended the dinner with strawberries, bananas, and chocolate fondue. I left feeling stuffed.

But after this feast I noticed that my clothes were feeling a bit snug. So I’m cutting back a bit on my portions, choosing salad instead of pizza, and avoiding ice cream. Sometimes my stomach gives a little growl. I don’t like it, but I remind myself that sometimes empty is good.

Asking God to Fill

I remembered this when I read this verse:

We have not stopped praying for you and asking God to fill you with the knowledge of his will through all spiritual wisdom and understanding.

Colossians 1:9

That word fill caught my eye. I like to be full. I’d much rather have a satisfied stomach–full of chocolate fondue–than have a growling tummy.

In my spiritual life I like to be full too. And so I try to fill my life with many things that I think will satisfy my hungry heart. I try busyness, working harder, volunteer positions, and new sweaters. But somehow that doesn’t work.

According to Colossians, what I need to be filled with is the knowledge of God’s will. At first that doesn’t even sound appealing. But then I stop and think a moment. What would it feel like to know more of God’s purpose, to have a little more wisdom, a bit more spiritual understanding? I think it would give me more perspective, a greater vision of how my small life fits into God’s big story. It would untangle the tension in my soul. It would satisfy my heart.

God is reminding me that being filled with the knowledge of his will is something I need everyday. It’s not a one time fill-up. It’s a daily turning to Him with an open heart, ready to be stuffed with grace.

Come to God Empty

To be filled with the knowledge of God’s will, I need to come empty–without my preconceived ideas of what I want or what I think I want. I need to rest In Him and open my heart, ready to receive His wisdom and reassurance and love.

Although I’d always like to be full of chocolate fondue and of my own plans, sometimes empty is good. Empty gives room for change. Empty makes room for God to fill my life.

Next step: Take a few minutes to empty out your heart to God. Tell Him all your frustrations and disappointments. Confess your sins. Ask Him to show you where your preconceived ideas of what you think you want are getting in the way of the wonderful things He has in mind for you. A useful practice I like to use for this is the Palms Down, Palms Up Prayer. Check it out here.

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October 8, 2010

Sophie’s Choice

“I have learned the secret of being content in any and every situation.”
Philippians 4:12
This week I lost one of my very best friends, Sophie Mitzel. Sophie was killed in a horrific car crash Sunday night. She was only 46 and was a devoted wife and mother, tax expert, talented singer and tireless volunteer to many organizations.
I have been writing about envy and contentment this month, but of course this week I could think only about Sophie and how much I will miss her. So when I sat down today to write my blog I decided to write about Sophie’s choice of contentment.
Sophie had reason to be discontent. Her youngest son, Logan, was diagnosed with Muscular Dystrophy at the age of 4. As she watched the disease begin to rob Logan, now 11, of the use of his muscles, she could have envied the parents of perfectly healthy children. She could have spent her time complaining about the unfairness of life, but she didn’t. She made a choice to be content. Sure she struggled with sadness as Logan’s condition deteriorated, but she never lost faith in God’s sovereignty. Even though she could not understand God’s ways, she still trusted in His care, His love, and His wisdom. She exhibited faith even when she could not understand life here on earth.
Hopefully we can all learn from Sophie’s example. It is easy to envy people who seem to have an easier life, a wealthier life, or a more successful life. Life is not fair or easy, but envy is not the answer. Envy does not change anything and will only make us miserable.
Instead we can choose contentment. Contentment in the form of trust in God’s wisdom and love can bring peace. Even when we don’t understand why a dear friend was taken to heaven too soon.
Filed Under: Contentment
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