Sharla, Author at Sharla Fritz - Page 24 of 29
February 6, 2015

Once Upon A Time

 

OnceUponATimeincourage.me

Once upon a time.

We all love those words. Those words promise a love story and we all long for romance.

Truth be told, I yearn to live a Cinderella story. I secretly hope someone will come and whisk me away from the ashes – from my humdrum life. I picture my dowdy clothes being changed into a beautiful gown. I imagine the prince choosing – me.

But that kind of thing only happens in fairy tales. Right?

Actually, God has been reminding me that I am smack dab in the middle of a breathtaking, astonishing love story right now. His Word is the crazy tale of a Prince who proved His love by giving up His cushy life in heaven, living on this dusty earth, and dying so that I could be with Him forever. Jesus chose me to be His bride. His grace – like the fairy godmother – transforms me, giving me a perfect gown of righteousness.

The problem is that I don’t always live like the princess I am.

Continue reading over at Filed Under: God's Relentless Love Tagged With: ,

February 3, 2015

Three Steps To Take When Life Punches You In The Gut

Romans 15-13

What do you do when life punches you in the gut? When circumstances deliver a devastating blow?

2014 was a joyous year for us. Our son got married to a wonderful young woman. Our daughter and her family flew from China to join in the wedding. They spent two months here in the states–we had abundant opportunities to play with our grandchildren.

Then 2015 arrived–with news of cancer. My husband John was diagnosed with lymphoma. For months we reeled from this punch. Sometimes life hits you hard and you are totally unprepared.

I know that we are not the only ones who have been hit hard. Some of you have experienced your own illnesses, chronic pain, job losses, and financial difficulties. Maybe even all of these at once.

This leg of our journey wasn’t our most joyful, but this is how we tried to handle this devastating blow. In addition to finding the best doctors and medical care: I:

1. I found comfort in God’s Word. I searched through Scripture, hunting down all God’s promises of His presence and peace. Some of my favorites:

  • May the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace as you trust in him. Romans 15:13
  • My Presence will go with you, and I will give you rest. Exodus 33:14
  • Before they call I will answer; while they are yet speaking I will hear. Isaiah 65:24

2. I called on others to stand with us in prayer. It was hard to tell people the difficult news. We often broke down in a puddle of tears. Yet we felt incredible love and support from our church, our family, and our friends. One couple invited us over for chicken soup with a side of prayer when we first heard the news. Church members gave us innumerable hugs. A simple request for prayer on Facebook drew 100 comments.

3. I took time each day to focus on what really matters. Each year I choose one word for the year. Ironically, that year I chose the word focus. Well, there is nothing like shocking news to make you focus on what is truly important. At times, this was as simple as just sitting with my wonderful hubby and holding his hand. It was as uncomplicated as sitting quietly and soaking in God’s love.

I pray that our heavenly Father will strengthen you in whatever you are going through today. When life punches you in the gut, may these three simple steps help you find strength in the One who loves you and is holding your hand.

And if you’re interested in learning more about how to find focus in troubled times, check out my book Distracted: Finding Faith-Focus Habits in a Frenzied World. This book is a compilation of all the lessons I learned during that difficult year. The e-book is only $3.99!

Filed Under: Spiritual Growth Tagged With: , , , ,
January 27, 2015

Top 10 Ways to Get Your Mouth in Trouble

My mouth often gets me in trouble.

I speak before I think things through. I say something without considering the other person’s point of view. I open my mouth before engaging my brain.

Here are my Top Ten Ways to get my mouth in trouble:

  1. Always talk. Never listen.
  2. Interrupt when you have something to say.
  3. Complain loudly about anything and everything.
  4. Talk endlessly about myself, my kids, my grandkids.
  5. Be sure that everyone knows about my friend’s embarrassing situation.
  6. Speak before I think.
  7. Let my mouth run on automatic when I’m angry.
  8. Make jokes about my spouse.
  9. Nag. Nag. Nag.
  10. Assume I can control my tongue on my own without God’s help.
 

And here is the Top One Way to prevent my mouth from getting into trouble:

  1. Pray.

When I pray Psalm 19:14, to guide my words and my thoughts. I begin to focus on pleasing my God rather than trying to be witty or funny or sarcastic or right. I am less likely to demand my way and more likely to listen to the other person. I may even try to find opportunities to build up others rather than look for ways to capture attention.

If you also want to keep your mouth out of trouble, pray with me:

May the words of my mouth
    and the meditation of my heart
be pleasing to you,
    O Lord, my rock and my redeemer.

Psalm 19:14

Filed Under: Taming Your Tongue Tagged With: , ,
January 20, 2015

For When You Feel Ordinary

I took a step back and looked at the bride. She was radiant in her white gown. A smile lit up her face when she saw her reflection in the mirrors all around the room. Her beauty was obvious.

During my college years I worked at a bridal salon each summer. I got to work with stunning bridal gowns, lovely bridesmaids’ dresses, and gorgeous formals. I could run my fingers over smooth satin and intricate lace. I was able to see the latest designs covered with sequins and pearls. Each dress was a work of art.

But what made the job especially interesting was to see the transformation of the girls who came in to try on the dresses. Since it was summertime, most of them came in to the store wearing shorts, flip-flops, and a tee shirt. Not particularly glamorous.

When a girl arrived for her fitting, I showed her to a room covered with mirrors and brought in her dress. I slipped the dress over her head. From the smiles visible in every mirror, I could tell she felt like a princess. In just a few minutes, she was transformed from an ordinary girl in summer shorts to a dazzling beauty in a stunning gown.

The Holy Spirit does something like that for us in our hearts. Because of Adam and Eve’s sin, we are born with dirty hearts. We are hopeless and helpless. But when we first receive the gift of faith, the Holy Spirit begins our divine makeover. He starts by clothing us in Christ.

Galatians 3:26-27 says:

For in Christ Jesus you are all sons of God, through faith. For as many of you as were baptized into Christ have put on Christ.

What does it mean to put on Christ? When we put on clothes, they cover our bodies. When people look at us they see the outfit, not our skin. When we put on Christ, He is the one that others see. In God’s eyes we are no longer ordinary girls, we are princesses in His kingdom.   We are radically changed.  

Putting on Christ is not just playing dress-up. The Holy Spirit changes us from the inside out. A beautiful gown may make you look like a princess, but when you are clothed with Christ, you truly are a princess—a child of the King.

Divine Makeover001

This post was adapted from my new book for teen girls:Divine Makeover: God Makes You Beautiful  Check it out!

Filed Under: Spiritual Growth Tagged With: , ,
January 8, 2015

3 Steps To Take When You’ve Been Punched Out With Words

My ears burned. My heart hurt.

I had just received a thirty-minute toungue-lashing over the phone. I wanted to ignore the person on the other end. I wanted to hang up. But deep inside I felt God wanted me to not turn away. He didn’t want me to sever the relationship. So I stayed on the line.

We all deal with criticism. Sometimes “suggestions for improvement” are given gently or lovingly. But often a conversation can leave us reeling from the verbal blows.

How can we deal with hurtful words?

Proverbs 12:15-16 has some principles on dealing with hurtful words:

Fools think their own way is right,
    but the wise listen to others.

 A fool is quick-tempered,
    but a wise person stays calm when insulted. (NLT)

From these verses I can see three steps to take when someone punches out our soul with their words.

  1. Hear. First we need to hear. Don’t immediately shut the person out. Proverbs tells us that fools always think their way is right, but the wise listen. The wise keep emotions in check even when they are insulted. When I heard the screaming voice on the other end of the phone, I wanted to hang up right away, but I listened.
  2. Ask. After we have heard the other person’s words, we need to ask God what to do with them. Is there some truth in the criticism? Even though the words could have been delivered in a kinder way, perhaps they contain a bit of truth you need to hear. Proverbs tells us, “The wise listen to others.” Although I certainly didn’t want to admit it, my critic did have a point. I had made a mistake.
  3. Discern. Finally discern what to do with the hurtful words. If there is some truth to the message do what needs to be done. Admit your faults. Apologize. Make amends. But if the criticism doesn’t apply to you throw it out. If the words are simply untrue, mean-spirited, and hypercritical toss them in the trash. Perhaps this time you simply need to  “overlook the insult” (Proverbs 12:16 NIV). After I understood the angry caller’s point, I admitted my mistake and apologized. But a lot of the other things she said were simply wrong perceptions of my actions. I let them go.

At times the words we hear feel like a stab to the heart. But we need to remember that God can work out everything for good for those who love Him. So listen to the words, ask God what to do with them, and discern whether they are truth or simply trash.

Next step: Look at the three steps outlined by Proverbs 12: 15-16. Ask God how to handle the hurtful words you receive.

Words matter. They can hurt or they can heal. If you want to learn more about using your words to build up the people in your lives, check out my book Bless These Lips–a 40-day guide to learning how to use your mouth to bless those around you. It’s available here and here.

Filed Under: Spiritual Growth, Taming Your Tongue Tagged With: ,
December 11, 2014

The Gift of His Presence

matt 1-23

“Look! The virgin will conceive a child!
    She will give birth to a son,
and they will call him Immanuel,
    which means ‘God is with us.’”

Matthew 1:23

This is the wonder of Christmas: God is with us!

It’s the wonder of every Christmas, but this year I have experienced it in remarkable ways.

You see, this Christmas is different for me. My husband and I are officially empty-nesters. This summer my son got married and moved out-of-state. And almost four years ago my daughter moved out-of-continent.

The house feels a bit–empty.

When I was putting up the Christmas decorations this year, I was missing the days of kids clamoring to help. The breathless excitement of anticipating presents under the tree. The wonder of little eyes looking at the manger scene.

I was feeling a bit sad about the emptiness–until God filled my heart–with Himself.

He surprised me with the gift of His presence.

The other day I was turning a corner in my car when suddenly it was filled with God’s presence. My gray sedan felt like God’s tabernacle. I was overwhelmed with a sense of God’s love for me. Immanuel–God with me.

The next day I got up and saw a sunrise–beautiful pinks and purples and blues and God whispered in my ear: I painted this sunrise just for you. My eyes filled with tears. Immanuel–God with me.

Two days later I woke to a world cleansed with a blanket of white. It was almost as if God’s love was coming down from heaven in crystals. Immanuel–God with me.

And so today I am thankful. Even though my house seems a bit empty, my heart is full.

God’s presence filling all the emptiness.

Jesus came to our broken-down world and slept in a barn just to be with us.

Jesus felt hunger and experienced wet diapers simply to be with us.

Jesus consented to being a helpless, crying baby because He wanted to be with us.

Immanuel–God is with us.

Question: How have you sensed God’s presence with you this Christmas season?

 

 

Filed Under: God's Relentless Love Tagged With: ,
December 9, 2014

Book Review: Storm Sisters

What exactly is a storm sister?

Read author Afton Rorvik’s definition:

Storm Sister (n)–a friend who sticks close when storms hit her friend’s life. Such a friend might also go by the title of sister, longtime friend, rediscovered friend, or acquaintance who offers or accepts friendship in a crisis. This type of friendship particularly thrives among women connected first to God.

We have all had times in our lives when we needed someone to stand by us. When a child was ill or a parent was dying or we were struggling with the darkness of depression. Thank God for  storm sisters!

There are also times when we need to be that storm sister. But sometimes it is difficult to know what to do for a friend who is struggling with tough times in her life. We are not sure what to say, what not to say, what to do, what not to do.

Afton Rorvik’s book teaches us how to step gently into the lives of those who are hurting. Through her own story of storm sisterhood, she demonstrates how to give meaningful help.

The book was born out of the author’s own experience as she watched her mother die of a rare neurological disease at about the same time a close friend found out her three-year-old had a brain tumor. These two friends learned how to support each other through the aches of life. Now Afton is sharing what she learned.

The book is full of beautiful sisterhood stories and practical advice. It is both an intimate journey of Afton’s own experiences and practical help for those who want to be a storm sister. One part of the book I especially liked was “What if” questions at the end of every chapter. For example:

What if?

We all struggle to recognize and admit our need. What might happen if in just one friendship, you both found the courage to speak of your deep-down needs?

At the end of the book you will also find reflection/discussion questions and an exploration of what the Bible has to say on the subject.

This book would be an excellent choice for a book club or Bible study group. It is helpful for every woman who has a hurting friend.

But even if you don’t need advice on how to help a storm sister, it is a beautiful story of the relationship a mother and daughter supported by a myriad of friends.

Question: Who has been a storm sister for you?

Filed Under: Spiritual Growth Tagged With:
November 18, 2014

How to Live with a Holy Longing

A holy longing.

I love that phrase.

There are a lot of things I long for: my family nearby, time with friends, a little more success, a new handbag, dark chocolate that has no calories. The list could go on and on.

I tend to beat myself up about this because the really disturbing thing is that even when one of my desires is met, I’m not immediately satisfied. Instead of sitting back and thinking–Now I have everything I want, all is well–I start wanting the next thing on my list.

Lately, I’ve been wondering what is wrong with me. After all, I’ve been a Christian a long time. I should have made a little more progress on this contentment thing.

Then I read this quote by Augustine:

The whole life of the good Christian is a holy longing.

Suddenly everything made sense. A good Christian will not be satisfied here on earth. In our hearts we will always be longing for more because we were made for more than this world. No matter how big our houses are, or how successful we are, or how much money we have in the bank, we will naturally want more. While all of those things can be good things, they won’t truly satisfy.

2 Corinthians 5:2 puts it this way:

“For in this tent we groan, longing to put on our heavenly dwelling.”

In this life we groan, because whatever we have now simply can’t be enough. We yearn for the time when we will be in heaven, perfected in holiness united with Christ.

Perhaps this is one of those unlikely truths in God’s kingdom, but when I realized that I won’t be satisfied while here on earth, I began to be more content.

To me, living with a holy longing means:

  • I don’t have everything I want–but God has given me some amazing gifts–I can be thankful.
  • I don’t have everything I desire–but I’m trusting that my Lord is leading me on an amazing adventure–I can watch in expectation for His plan.
  • I don’t have everything I long for–but I know that someday I will–I can begin to hold my Savior’s hand with patience.

All my little wantings–all my silly desires for cute shoes and dazzling success–are actually a shadow of something deeper:

a holy longing.

Next step: How would you describe a holy longing? Contemplate on how living with a holy longing can help you be more content.

Filed Under: Contentment Tagged With: ,
October 9, 2014

How to Practice the Art of Listening

For years my son picked up his grandmother Shirley from her senior apartment and brought her to church. Now Nathaniel is one of those strong, silent types and typically not too talkative before noon. One Sunday morning Shirley entered the church vestibule complaining that Nathaniel had not let her get a word in edgewise during her ride to church. We didn’t believe her for a minute.

We all love Shirley for many reasons. I especially love her for the fact that when I’m with her I never have to think of something to say. There are never any awkward silences because my mother-in-law fills them all!

Shirley is not the only woman known for her loquacious tongue. Recent research estimates that women speak approximately 9000 words per day. (compared to 6000 words per day for men). Women gather in coffee shops to chat, get together in book clubs to share thoughts, and join Bible studies to speak about faith. Women love words.

The trouble with so many words is that sometimes they get in the way of real interaction and relationship.

Proverbs 18:13 tells us,

“He who answers before listening—that is his folly and his shame.”

Genuine communication involves not only sharing my thoughts but listening to the ideas of others. One of the best ways to use my 9000 words per day is get others talking.

I want to give the gift of purposeful attention to the people in my life so I’m trying to learn to be a good listener.

Experts tell us to ask an open-ended question to get people talking. Focus on the answer and use what you have learned about the person to ask a follow-up question. Try to find a common interest between you and your conversation partner.

In case you need a little help coming up with questions, here are a few that can get people talking:

  • If you could replay any moment in your life, what would it be?
  • What is your favorite holiday (or season)? Why?
  • What’s the best surprise you’ve ever received?
  • What word would you say describes you best? Why?
  • If you could meet any one person, whom would you choose?

The more I practice the art of listening, the more enjoyable conversation becomes. When I’m intent on what the other person has to say, I don’t worry about coming up with something impressive or witty to add to the dialogue. If I’m not planning my next comment while the other person is talking, I’m much more likely to learn something interesting.

Practice the art of listening.

Next step: Start with my list of questions and add a few of your own. Make a point of asking some of these questions today!

This article was adapted from my book, Bless These Lips which helps women use their words to build up the people in their lives. Check it out here and here.

Filed Under: Taming Your Tongue Tagged With: , ,
October 7, 2014

Entertaining Strangers

We may balk at entertaining, but Christ calls on us to practice hospitality.

When I was in high school, a Christian group called Joy, Inc. came to sing at our church. Our family agreed to house a couple of group members for the night. And in the morning we drove them back to the church so they could be on their way to the next concert.

One of the guys that stayed at our house added this cryptic message after his goodbye, “When you get home, read Hebrews 13:2.”

All the way home, I repeated–Hebrews 13:2, Hebrews 13:2, Hebrews 13:2–to myself so I wouldn’t forget it.

At home I raced to my nightstand and opened my Bible to Hebrews 13:2:

Do not forget to show hospitality to strangers, for by so doing some people have shown hospitality to angels without knowing it.

Ahh. Funny guy.

I may not find me entertaining strangers often, but hospitality is one of the ways we can show Christ’s love to others. But I have to admit I often get hospitality all wrong. I make it more about the table settings than the people. I pay more attention to the dinner rolls than to the guests.

Lately I’ve been studying the spiritual disciplines. Hospitality is listed as one of those spiritual disciplines. It seems odd to think of hospitality as a way to grow in faith.

But I think that hospitality can be a spiritual exercise if it stretches us to love others as Christ loved us. It helps us grow in faith if we step out of our comfort zone and invite people over even before the house is perfect (because if we wait until the house is spotless, hospitality may never happen). Hospitality helps us grow in service, humility, and putting other first. It helps us to receive God’s blessings as we share what we already have with others.

Romans 12:13 says:

Share with the Lord’s people who are in need. Practice hospitality.

I’m encouraged by that verse. We are to practice hospitality. We won’t always get it perfect, but the more we practice it, the more we’ll improve. So I’m learning to make hospitality more about the people than the food, more about the love and laughter than a clean house.

Practice hospitality.

Next Step: Take a chance and practice hospitality. Don’t worry about place settings and fancy food. Make people feel valued and special.

Filed Under: Spiritual Disciplines Tagged With: ,
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