Sharla, Author at Sharla Fritz - Page 23 of 29
April 28, 2015

When You Feel Like You’re Straining Against the Wind

Where to look when you feel like you're straining against the oars.

“He saw the disciples straining at the oars, because the wind was against them.” Mark 6:48

Do you ever feel like you’re straining against the wind?

This month, I’m reading through the Gospel of Mark and when I got to chapter six, I immediately identified with the disciples in the boat. Gale force winds of cancer have blown into our lives with my husband’s lymphoma diagnosis. In my professional life, I sometimes feel like I’m frantically rowing, but not getting anywhere. Winds of loneliness and despair occasionally blow my way.

Perhaps you feel the same way. Financial tornadoes may be blowing into your life. You are constantly straining against chronic health problems. Relationship difficulties threaten to blow you down again and again.

Thankfully, Jesus didn’t leave the disciples straining at the oars on their own. He came to them miraculously walking on the water. He came to them comforting them with the words, “Take courage! It is I. Don’t be afraid” (Mark 6:50). Jesus speaks to our fears, our worries, our lack of courage with assurance He is with us. He is able to overcome the worst.

Life often feels like one big struggle against the wind. What we can learn from Jesus' disciples in Mark 6.

Learning From the Disciples’ Experience

What can we learn from the disciples’ experience?

We may experience a time of waiting. Although Jesus saw the disciples straining at the oars in the evening He waited until 3:00 in the morning to come to them. We don’t know why Jesus waited to help the disciples. And we don’t know why we sometimes experience long waiting times for healing, for help, for hope. But we can take comfort in realizing Jesus sees us straining at the oars. He knows firsthand the struggle against this world.

We sometimes don’t recognize Jesus in the struggle. When the disciples first saw a figure walking toward them on the water, they didn’t recognize it was Jesus. Mark’s account tells us that even after witnessing Jesus feeding a crowd of 5000+ with a couple of fish and a few loaves of bread, their hearts were hardened. They didn’t recognize Jesus on the water, because they didn’t recognize Him as God. We too may be so focused on the winds, on our struggle, on our own efforts, that we don’t recognize Jesus in the storm. Jesus promised us that He would never leave us. Ask Him to give you eyes to recognize Him. To believe that He is able to help. To recognize His aid may come in a totally unexpected way.

We can find comfort in Jesus’ words, “Take courage. It is I. Don’t be afraid.” The disciples had to wait for Jesus physical presence. But now He is always with us. He promises to be there with us in the struggle. The wind of trouble may not die down immediately like it did for the disciples, but we know Jesus will be there in the boat with us. When the waves appear to swamp our boat, we know that Christ is still in control.  

Next step: When you feel like you’re straining against the wind, wait for the answer. Recognize it may come in an unexpected way. Remember Jesus is in the boat with you.

original photo source

Filed Under: Spiritual Growth Tagged With: , ,
April 16, 2015

How to Like Your Life

Learn the best way to learn to like your life--right now.

Prefer the given.

I read this phrase in the book Grumble Hallelujah and it has stuck with me.

I loved the sound of it. But I didn’t love the reality of it. If life gives me the equivalent of the snack size sack of M & Ms I complain that I don’t have the super-size bag. I’m not satisfied with a “Tall” size life–I want the “Venti” size.

There are some things that I would like to change in my life if I could. I would prefer to be able to eat chocolate every day without gaining weight. I would prefer that my book be on the New York Times bestseller list. I would prefer that my grandchildren would live across town instead of half-way around the world.

But I believe God is speaking to me through the phrase: “Prefer the Given.” After all, it sounds a lot like Paul’s words in Philippians:

I have learned to be content whatever the circumstances.(Philippians 4:11)

Discontent is wanting something different. And wanting something different is pushing back what God has placed in my life and saying, “No thank you.”

But to be content is to prefer the given. To prefer the given is to accept what is in my life right now with open hands.

Learning to like your life means accepting what God has given.

When I’m discontent I’m always looking for a way out. I’m searching for something better.

But what if I preferred what God has given? Would my searching mechanism then be busy looking for hidden blessings in the situation? Would I scrutinize the problem for a lesson to be learned? Would I eagerly look for an opportunity to meet God in a new way? 

Prefer the given.

That is the way to truly like your life.

Filed Under: Contentment Tagged With:
March 31, 2015

How to Find Your Real Life

When you read the title, you may have thought, “What does she mean, my “real life”? How can I live anything but this one real life?

Well, the title is inspired by the words of Colossians 3:1-3. This passage begins:

“You have been raised to new life with Christ.”

Wow. Read those words again.

“You have been raised to new life with Christ.”

As I write this, Easter is right around the corner. The day we celebrate the glorious resurrection of Jesus is near. It’s one of my favorite days of the whole year. Joy spills out of my heart at the thought of sin and pain and confusion and death being conquered. Christ is risen!

But when I read those words of Colossians 3:1, I realize that Easter is also the day to rejoice in our resurrection. We have been raised to new life with Christ! Celebrate!

And if we have been raised with Christ, what does that mean for our lives?

Read on in Colossians:

Since you have been raised to new life with Christ, set your sights on the realities of heaven, where Christ sits in the place of honor at God’s right hand. Think about the things of heaven, not the things of earth. For you died to this life, and your real life is hidden with Christ in God. (Colossians 3:1-3)

I admit this passage can send me on a guilt trip. I don’t often follow Paul’s instructions to “think about the things of heaven, not the things of earth.”

After all, I live in a world that demands I pay attention to other cars on the road. Right now I need to think about spelling resurrection with three Rs and ending every sentence with a period. Day to day living means one of my most frequent thoughts is: What in the world am I going to make for supper?

I can complain that I don’t have the luxury in living in some spiritual retreat where I could concentrate on heavenly things. I can beat myself up for dwelling on what other people think of me or how to invest for retirement.

But what if this passage in Colossians inspired gratefulness instead of guilt? What if I thanked God that this current life–filled with Chicago traffic, grammar rules, and peeling potatoes–is not my real life?

This life has fear and rejection. It’s full of sadness and sorrow. This life hands us pain and death.

But my real life–the life I have because of Christ’s resurrection–and my resurrection–is different. This life is full of Christ’s love and acceptance. This life promises joy and peace. My real life has nothing but abundance and eternal being.

So this Sunday (Easter Sunday or any Sunday!) celebrate Christ’s resurrection– while remembering that it is your resurrection too. A resurrection to life–a life full of joy.

Next step: Journal about your real life. Start by listing the things you usually think of as your real life. Then write down what your how that life changes because of Christ!

Filed Under: Spiritual Growth Tagged With: , ,
March 24, 2015

When You Can’t Do It By Yourself

eph 3-20

Every week people pass through my living room and take a turn sitting at my grand piano. I give them my undivided attention for thirty to sixty minutes while they play music by Mozart and Beethoven and Gershwin.  I help them make sense of fingering and eighth notes and terms like sforzando.

And I love it. Teaching piano is a joy.

This year I have three very young beginners. One girl who is only five herself comes with her mother and a little two-year old sister. While the older sister is having her piano lesson the little sister sits on the sofa while her mother tries to keep her occupied with storybooks and playing games on an iPad.

A couple of weeks ago the little sister was becoming very frustrated–making so much noise that it distracted my student. The mother explained, “She wants to play the game herself, but it’s hard so she gets frustrated when she can’t do it. But she gets angry when I try to to help.”

I had to laugh. Because this is exactly how I am with God.

I want to do stuff. I want to make a difference. I want to accomplish big things. So I work and work and sometimes it’s hard. I get frustrated because I cant’ do it. But do I go to God for help? Not….always. Instead, I act like a two-year-old and get angry when I can’t do it by myself.

Which is silly because trying to do something in my power without accessing the power of God is a little like trying to grate a pound of carrots by hand when all along I have an amazing food processor in my cupboard.

Ephesians 3:20 says:

Now all glory to God, who is able, through his mighty power at work within us, to accomplish infinitely more than we might ask or think.

God is able to accomplish infinitely more than we can imagine through his mighty power. Not through my genius. Not through my strength. Not through my determination.

So what does it look like to accomplish much in His mighty power?

Maybe it means stopping before I work to ask for His help.

Maybe it means admitting I need His assistance.

Maybe it means thanking Him that I don’t have to do it on my own.

Whew. I feel better already.

Next step: What would it look like in your life to work in God’s power instead of your own?Post Ephesians 3:20 where you will see it today.

Filed Under: Spiritual Growth Tagged With: , ,
March 12, 2015

When Your Part Seems Small: Playing in the Symphony of Life

indispensable

Every so often I persuade my husband to attend a concert of classical music with me  A while ago we traveled into the city to hear the Chicago Symphony Orchestra.

As soon as we found our seats, I knew something special was going to happen. On the stage, behind the chairs set up for the string section, sat six harps. I had never seen so many harps in one place! I could hardly wait to hear what fantastic part they would play in the opening music by Wagner.

But wait is what I did. The harpists sat for almost twenty minutes while the violinists and cellists moved their bows over their strings, while the flautists and oboists blew their horns, while the percussionists banged drums and clashed cymbals.

Finally, at the end of the Wagner pieces, the harpists pulled their harps toward their shoulders and began to pluck strings. But still I could barely hear them because, as they were plucking, drums were pounding, trumpets were blowing.

I wondered if the harpists were disappointed that they didn’t have a bigger part to play in the performance.

Truth be told, I sometimes feel like those harpists.

In the performance of life, it often seems like I do more waiting than performing. And when my time comes to play, hardly anyone notices. I sometimes feel that in the grand symphony of life, the part I play is very small. I wonder if I can make any difference at all.

When I read 1 Corinthians I wonder if some of the people that the apostle Paul was writing to in Corinth were feeling the same way. Paul uses the analogy of the body and tells the Corinthians that as Christians we are all part of Christ’s body. Some of us are eyes, some are ears, some are hands. But we are all important.

In fact, he writes:

Those parts of the body that seem to be weaker are indispensable.

(1 Corinthians 12:22)

When Wagner composed the piece for orchestra, he considered the harpists indispensable. Otherwise, he would not have included them. The timbre of the plucking strings was necessary for the sound he wanted to achieve. Though they waited a long to play and had a small part, the music would not have been the same without them.

Though we may wait for a long time to play our part, even though our part may seem small, it is crucial in God’s symphony of life. He made each of us for a specific purpose and role. He wants us to know our worth in His plan.

In God’s symphony of life, you are indispensable.

Next step: How do you see your current role in God’s symphony of life? Waiting? Playing? Remember all roles are important.

Filed Under: Spiritual Growth Tagged With: , ,
March 5, 2015

What to Do When Life Disappoints

 

What do we do when life disappoints? Our natural reaction is to complain and grumble. We tell our sad story to anyone who will listen.

This is what I tend to do. Especially about the fact that my grandchildren live far away.

I make sure that all of my friends hear about my grandchildren in China—emphasis on China. I smile weakly as I talk about how much I miss them. When others talk about their grown children or grandchildren, I immediately remind them of my sad situation by sighing wistfully, “You are so lucky to have them close by.”

Thankfully, I have very sympathetic friends. They commiserate with me. They say, “Oh it would just kill me to have my kids so far away.” One friend even commented that my husband and I were the poster children (or would that be the poster parents?) for empty-nesters. He said everyone we knew could say, “At least we don’t have it as bad as John and Sharla.” Which made me laugh, but also served to worsen my case of poor-me-syndrome.

When our expectations are not met and we continue to yearn for the unattainable, we also tend to complain to God. All of our prayers start with the word, “Why?” We can’t come up with one good reason that God would have for not answering our prayers and giving us what we want.

When I have a really bad case of poor-me-syndrome, there are certain Bible passages I try to avoid. Passages like:

“Whom have I in heaven but you?  

And there is nothing on earth that I desire besides you.

My flesh and my heart may fail,

 but God is the strength of my heart and my portion forever.”

Psalm 73: 25-26

I brush over verses like this because I can’t seem to say, “God, there is nothing on earth that I desire besides you.” I’m ashamed to admit it. I want to be like the psalmist, but it just ain’t happening.

But if I stop avoiding the psalm and look at it a little closer, I notice that the psalmist did not come to those words easily. In the beginning of the psalm he was just like me asking, “Why do other people seem to have it so good?” It isn’t till the end of the psalm that he is able to come to the point of saying, “God is enough.”

And the answer is in the last verse of the psalm. Here he says, “But as for me, it is good to be near God” (verse 28). Being in God’s presence is what changes us.

Let that sink into your heart.

Nothing could be better than being near God.

Next step: Take all your disappointments to God. Then read Psalm 73 and rest in the assurance that even in the disappointments, God is near.

Filed Under: Contentment Tagged With: , ,
March 3, 2015

Side Effects of…Praising God

We praise God because He deserves praise, but even while we praise who He is, we may experience positive side effects.

My husband has been diagnosed with lymphoma and has begun the road to recovery. Recently he had his first round of chemotherapy. The effects of the drugs were amazing. Just three short days after competing the infusion of drugs, we saw a major reduction in the visible tumors! We praise God for the healing that is taking place.

Unfortunately there are also negative side-effects. He has a severe sore throat–making talking very painful. One of the drugs gives extreme exhaustion. But one of the other medicines has the maddening side effect of the inability to sleep.

In all of life we experience unexpected side effects to circumstances and choices in our lives–not all of them positive. But there is one choice we can make that promises many positive side effects–

the choice to praise God

Of course, we praise God simply because He deserves praise. Psalm 65:1 says, “Praise is due to you, O God, in Zion.” God is holy, mighty, loving, generous, and merciful. He is the King of the universe and the Lord of our hearts and so we praise Him. In fact, there are times when our hearts nearly burst with praise for the Ruler of all–who is also the One who holds our hands.

But even while we are praising God for who He is, we may experience some side effects:

Praise lifts our souls out of despair. In Psalm 42:5 the psalmist instructs his soul to praise God, “Why, my soul, are you downcast?  Why so disturbed within me? Put your hope in God, for I will yet praise him, my Savior and my God” (NIV) He doesn’t feel like praising the Lord in that moment, but He knows God is the source of hope. When we praise God we change our focus from our problems to the God who is bigger than any difficulty. Despair is defeated and hope is reborn.

Praise brings us to the presence of God. You may have heard the phrase, “God inhabits the praises of His people,” This is a paraphrase of Psalm 22:3, “But thou art holy, O thou that inhabitest the praises of Israel” (KJV). God, of course, is present everywhere. He inhabits every church, every home, every valley, every forest–but we don’t always notice Him. Praising the Lord of the universe reminds us He is right here with us.

Praise lets others know what God has done. Praise is an effective evangelism tool. Psalm 40:3 says, “He put a new song in my mouth, a song of praise to our God. Many will see and fear and put their trust in the Lord.” People are looking for the answers to their problems. They are searching for something bigger than themselves. When we praise God for what He has done and for who He is, others see the difference God makes. They are drawn to the God of mercy and love.

So praise God. Praise Him for His power, generosity, and grace. Experience the positive side effects.

Filed Under: Spiritual Growth Tagged With: ,
February 24, 2015

How to Truly Love Yourself: The Four Degrees of Love

I tend to have a love/hate relationship with myself. Maybe you can relate. Perhaps you also find it hard to love yourself.

On days things are going smoothly, we are pleased. But on days we mess up we might be disappointed with our performance and even despise who we are.

Popular culture says some of the keys to loving ourselves are not expecting perfection from ourselves and not comparing ourselves to others.  Loving ourselves means learning to nurture ourselves and forgive ourselves. Listing our best qualities and practicing receiving love are keys to loving ourselves.

These are all useful tools. But I think one crucial element in truly loving yourself comes in learning the four degrees of love.

 

Recently I read a devotion by Bernard of Clairvaux.   A supervisor of a monastery in France, he lived from 1090 – 1153. His writings influenced Luther and many other Christians. His book On the Love of God outlines the four degrees of love.

1. The first degree of love–love of self for self’s sake. This is our selfish preoccupation with our own needs. It is a sort of natural love for ourselves, wanting everything to revolve around us. 1 Tim 3:2 talks about this kind of love, “For people will be lovers of self and [utterly] self-centered, lovers of money and aroused by an inordinate [greedy] desire for wealth, proud and arrogant and contemptuous boasters.” (Amplified Bible) It’s not a true love for ourselves, but a love for comfort and fame and attention for ourselves.

2. The second degree of love–love of God for self’s sake. When we can’t meet our own needs and experience a crisis, we crawl to God and beg Him for help. We love God for His blessings. We see this love in Psalm 116:1, “I love the Lord because he has heard my voice and my pleas for mercy.” This is not a bad love, but it is still a self-centered love.

3. The third degree of love–love of God for God’s sake. As we grow in faith, we grow to love God in a deeper way. We realize that He is more than a genie who solves our problems. Through worship, prayer, and time in His Word, we come to truly know God and love Him for who He is and not just for what He can give us. 1 Peter 1: 6, 8 describes this kind of love, “In this you rejoice, though now for a little while, if necessary, you have been grieved by various trials…Though you have not seen him, you love him. Though you do not now see him, you believe in him and rejoice with joy that is inexpressible and filled with glory.”

4. The fourth degree of love–love of self for God’s sake. Bernard explains that this love is experienced only fleetingly in this world. But when we experience a oneness with God and can pray from the heart, “Thy will be done,” we lose our self-preoccupation. We don’t dwell on our needs. That’s when we truly love ourselves.

I think that this love of ourselves for God’s sake only comes when we truly see ourselves as the forgiven, much-loved daughters of the King. We don’t love ourselves because we have performed well. We don’t love ourselves because we deserve love. We love ourselves because we see ourselves through God’s eyes. Because of Jesus, He sees us redeemed and righteous. He calls us precious and honored and loved (Isaiah 43:4).  1 John 5:19 says, “We love because He first loved us.” It is only because of Christ’s love that we can love ourselves or others.

I love the words of 1 John 4:16.

And so we know and rely on the love God has for us. God is love. Whoever lives in love lives in God, and God in him.

Rely on the love God has for you. That’s when you can truly love yourself. That’s when you can truly love others.

Filed Under: God's Relentless Love, Spiritual Growth Tagged With: , ,
February 17, 2015

Finding Focus — in Lent

 

Psalm 278

 

I’m on a quest to find more focus in my life. To zero in on the important and to ignore the rest.

To help me in this quest I am going to observe the holy Lenten season. Lent is the period of forty days leading up to Easter (Sundays are not included in the count.) It is a period of focusing on Christ and His enormous sacrifice and boundless love for us. During this time we can abandon the frivolous and concentrate on the eternal. It can be a season of transformation as we pull our chair closer to hear God’s words to us.

Three tools I am going to use to concentrate on the spiritual during this time are:

Fasting. The whole idea of forty days of Lent may have been inspired by Jesus’ forty-day fast before He began His earthly ministry. But please don’t try this at home. Fasting as a spiritual discipline can have life-changing effects, but forty days is extreme. Try fasting one day a week during this season of Lent. Or give up a favorite food or activity for forty days. In the past I have abstained from chocolate, ice cream, TV watching and shopping. When I do this kind of focused fast I am reminded of Jesus’ sacrifice every time I deny myself a simple pleasure.

Bible study. Lean in to hear God speak by spending more time in His Word during the next forty days. There are many ways to do this. My Bible studies Soul Spa, Divine Design and Bless These Lips are designed to be completed in 40 days. This year I am leading a journey through practicing Spiritual Disciplines. My daughter and her husband have written a family Lenten devotional.

I have been praying about how God would like me to spend time in His Word these 40 days. Continuing with my theme of focus, I have decided to concentrate on one book of the Bible. Philippians seems the perfect book as it talks about Christ’s sacrifice and becoming more like Him. I am going to prayerfully read this book every day of Lent asking God to change me through His Word.

Focus on Christ. Fasting and Bible study can become merely rituals of Lent. If we’re not concentrating on Christ, they are only outward habits that will not transform our souls. But if I recall Jesus’ sacrifice when I turn down that piece of three-layer chocolate cake, my heart can be content with God’s presence. If I listen for the Holy Spirit’s voice as I read the Word, He can satisfy my soul.

Jesus is ready to bless you with joy, love, and transforming grace. Receive His blessings. Look for Him in the ordinary moments of this Lenten season. Hear His voice speak His care for you in His Word.

Filed Under: Bible Study, Spiritual Growth Tagged With: , , ,
February 10, 2015

10 Ways to Tell Your Husband “I Love You”

I have a problem. I love writing. But I’m not very good at writing meaningful words to the ones I love. What do I write besides, “I love you”?

My husband is especially talented at this. I save all the cards that he gives me because even after decades of marriage, he is able to make my heart melt with his words.

Even though I write lots of words every day–in my books, on my blog–I feel like my words in cards fall flat.

But I agree with Victor Hugo,

Life’s greatest happiness is to be convinced that we are loved.

I want to give that happiness to my husband, especially since he always does that for me.

So what helps me is to start with a quote about love as inspiration. I then make it personal to him. For instance, if I chose the Victor Hugo quote, I would tell him that I already possess life’s greatest joy because I know without a doubt that he loves me. I would tell him how much I appreciate his loving words.

In case you need a little inspiration for a card for your husband–whether it is a birthday card, Valentine’s Day card, Father’s Day card, or a just-because card–here are ten more quotes about love:

  • For you see, each day I love you more, today more than yesterday and less than tomorrow. ~ Rosemonde Gerard
  • For it was not into my ear you whispered, but into my heart. It was not my lips you kissed, but my soul. ~ Judy Garland
  • Anyone can catch your eye, but it takes someone special to catch your heart. ~ Author Unknown
  • Looking back, I have this to regret, that too often when I loved, I did not say so. ~ David Grayson
  • Love doesn’t make the world go round. Love is what makes the ride worthwhile. ~ Franklin P. Jones
  • One word frees us of all the weight and pain in life. That word is love. ~ Sophocles
  • I love thee to the depth and breadth and height my soul can reach. ~ Elizabeth Barrett Browning
  • Every moment I spend with you becomes a beautiful memory.
  • Love is a force more formidable than any other. It is invisible – it cannot be seen or measured, yet it is powerful enough to transform you in a moment, and offer you more joy than any material possession could.  ~ Barbara de Angelis
  • Faith makes all things possible… love makes all things easy. ~ Dwight L. Moody

Next step: Choose one of these quotes and use it as a springboard for expressing your love for your husband. For even more quotes, check out this article. And if you need reassurance that you are loved, check out this post.

Filed Under: Taming Your Tongue Tagged With: ,
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