Sharla, Author at Sharla Fritz - Page 14 of 29
September 18, 2018

The New Math of Self-Worth

You are precious and honored in My sight.Isaiah 43_4

Do you have an outfit in your closet that always reaps compliments?

Many clothes in my closet are a deep peach color. I love this color because whenever I wear it, I receive comments like, “That color looks fabulous on you.” or “You should wear that color all the time!” So of course when I’m not sure what to wear, I am likely to choose an outfit in the shade of deep-peach.

After all, who doesn’t like a compliment?

Mark Twain said, “I can live for two months on a good compliment.” I agree. Positive words fuel my spirit. They give me strength to keep going.

But too often I rely on what other people say about me or think about me for my self-worth.

The New Math ofSelf-Worth

The Old Math

In fact, this is the math equation I often used to evaluate whether my life mattered or not:
MY ACCOMPLISHMENTS + WHAT OTHERS THINK OF ME = MY SELF WORTH

If I’m honest, not only do I sometimes choose an article of clothing because I consciously or unconsciously know I am likely to receive compliments on it, I may also choose activities and tasks that will make others notice me.

But what happens when others don’t notice us? When our hard work is behind the scenes and no one says, “Great job!” When people don’t offer compliments or praise. Does that mean we are not valuable?

No! Even when we may feel unimportant, insignificant, even worthless, we can hang on to the truth in God’s Word, We need to find some new math.

The New Math

Let’s look in God’s Word for a new equation. First, the apostle Paul reminds me that accomplishments are not the way to earn God’s love:

For by grace you have been saved through faith. And this is not your own doing; it is the gift of God, 9 not a result of works, so that no one may boast. Ephesians 2:8-9

My accomplishments or lack thereof do not affect God’s grace to me. I cannot earn God’s love through hard work. I do not get spiritual brownie points for success in this world. God loves me no matter what. I am saved through faith and not through accomplishment. We can serve God out of love for Him, but we do not have to do it out of fear of not measuring up.

Second, God tells me I am valuable:

Since you are precious and honored in my sight, and because I love you, I will give men in exchange for you, and people in exchange for your life.” (Isaiah 43:4)

I am precious to God–valuable in His sight, treasured in His kingdom, and cherished in His heart. I am an honored and privileged part of His kingdom. He loved me so much that He gave His own Son in exchange for my life!

I am not valuable because of what I do for God. He treasures me because He made me and adopted me into His family through Jesus’ work on the cross and triumph over death

So when our self-esteem is a little low, when compliments have been few and far between, let’s do some new math:

GOD’S LOVE FOR ME + JESUS’ SACRIFICE FOR ME = MY SELF WORTH

Next step: Post the new self-worth equation where you will see it often. Remind yourself that accomplishments and compliments are not the key to a life that matters. You already matter to God!

Filed Under: God's Relentless Love, Spiritual Growth
September 4, 2018

One Essential Item For Your Spiritual Wardrobe

One Essential Item For Your Spiritual Wardrobe

A while back I needed a new pair of black pants. This simple wardrobe item should have been easy to find but I needed to visit four of my favorite stores and try on at least 15 pairs of slacks before I found a pair that fit my shape and my height.

Why was I willing to put that much time and effort into finding one clothing item? Because black slacks or black skirts are wardrobe staples—fashion essentials.

This got me thinking, “If black slacks are a wardrobe staple, what is an essential item in my spiritual wardrobe?”

2 Peter 1:5-7 answered my question,

“For this very reason, make every effort to add to your faith goodness; and to goodness, knowledge; and to knowledge, self-control; and to self-control, perseverance; and to perseverance, godliness; and to godliness, brotherly kindness; and to brotherly kindness, love.”

Peter talks about a lot of things that we are to add to our spiritual wardrobes like goodness, knowledge, and self-control. But what is the basic item that we add them to? Faith. Faith is the basic black skirt or pair of slacks that we build our spiritual wardrobes around.

In my closet, I may have a red jacket, burgundy sweater and a fuchsia blouse, but I can’t wear them alone. I need those black slacks. I may be trying to do good and gain spiritual knowledge and develop my self-control, but I can’t do it alone. I need faith. I need to trust my Savior to help me live a virtuous life. I need to rely on the Holy Spirit to teach me and give me knowledge. I need to depend on God for self-control.

OneEssentialItemSpiritualWardrobe

The good news about faith is that I don’t have to hunt through retail stores to find it—it’s a gift from God!

Where is Your Faith?

When I read through the Gospels I am amazed at how many times Jesus asks, “Where is your faith?” or a similar question. Here are some examples:

“Where is your faith?” he asked his disciples. (Luke 8:25)

“O unbelieving and perverse generation,” Jesus replied, “how long shall I stay with you and put up with you?” (Luke 9:41)

Immediately Jesus reached out his hand and caught him. “You of little faith,” he said, “why did you doubt?” (Matthew 14:31)

Doesn’t Jesus sound a tad impatient in these passages? I may be reading between the lines, but it sounds to me like Jesus was thinking, “Oh man, I can’t understand this. I fed five thousand people with a few buns and a couple of fish, I calmed a stormy sea, and healed people of incurable diseases–and they still don’t trust me!”

Lack of faith really seems to bother Jesus. And I don’t blame Him. He gave up a comfy life in heaven to live with us for a while. He exhibited His power with astounding miracles. He demonstrated His care and concern by attending to people’s needs. Yet at times His followers showed a lack of faith, a shortage of trust in His power and goodness.

Sometimes I have also exhibited a lack of trust in God. I have complained to Him that things were not going my way. I have grown impatient when I felt my prayers have gone unanswered for far too long. I have wondered if God has even heard me.

It’s then I am haunted by Jesus’ question, “Where is your faith?”

Increase Our Faith

Honestly, there are times when I feel like my faith has simply walked out the door. I go through a dry season spiritually. Or life circumstances stir up doubt. Or I become apathetic and lazy and ignore my Savior’s calls to spend time in His Word.

The writer of Hebrews tells us, “Without faith it is impossible to please God” (Hebrews 11:6). I know this. And so I don’t want to be a doubting Thomas. I don’t want to live in distrust and disbelief. Yet, where do I go when I need faith? Unlike, the black pants I needed, I can’t find faith in a store.

Once Jesus’ disciples approached Him and said, “Increase our faith” (Luke 17:5). I realize–this is what I can do when I’m having difficulty finding faith. I can pray that same prayer. After all, faith is a gift to begin with. Paul tells us that we have been saved by grace through faith and faith “is not from yourselves it is the gift of God” (Ephesians 2:8).

So when doubt and distrust begin to fill our hearts, let’s pray the disciples’ prayer, “Increase our faith.” God is faithful. He will honor that prayer.

What else can we do when distrust is an unwanted visitor in our souls? I’ve had seasons of doubt and have found a few practical ways to keep my misgivings at bay.

In addition to praying the disciples’ prayer, here are a few practical steps I take when I feel low on faith:

1. I go to God’s Word. Black slacks are found at clothing stores. Faith-builders are found in God’s Word. Romans 10:17 says, “So faith comes from hearing, and hearing by the word of Christ.”

2. I find promises in God’s Word that strengthen my faith and give me something to hang onto. For instance, during a long period of waiting, I clung to Micah 7:7: “But as for me, I will watch expectantly for the LORD; I will wait for the God of my salvation. My God will hear me.”

3. I sing. Great hymns like “Great is Thy Faithfulness or “How Great Thou Art” fuel my faith.

4. I remember all the tough times that God has already brought me through. This helps me to remember that He is faithful and trustworthy.

Let’s be thankful that we do not have to hunt through stores to find faith. God is more than willing to give it to us. We can find it in His Word, in His faithfulness in the past, and through His Spirit who grows that faith in our hearts.

Next step: Write the disciples’ short prayer—“Increase our faith”—on a sticky note. Place this in your Bible or by your bathroom sink to remind yourself to pray it often. Then pick one of the practical steps listed. May the Holy Spirit work in your heart to dispel doubt and distrust.

Divine DesignIf you want to learn more about your spiritual wardrobe, check out my book: Divine Design.

Filed Under: Bible Study, Spiritual Growth Tagged With:
May 29, 2018

Spring Cleaning: Let’s Throw Out Stored Hurt

Spring Cleaning-Stored Hurts 

Some things get better with age. Quality wine improves over the years. Some varieties of cheeses need time to age.

Clothes generally do not improve with age. Cotton t-shirts fade. Shoes get worn out. Wool sweaters get moth holes.

Another thing that does not get better over time is stored hurts.

Pain and hurt are inevitable in this life. No one gets the option of a pain-free life. However, we do have a choice about what we do with the hurt.

We can store the hurts in our hearts or we can let them go.

Spring Cleaning-Stored Hurts PIN

At times we may hold onto the pain, thinking this will hurt the person who caused the pain. But this bitterness is not harming the offender, it is poisoning out own souls.

God asks us to let go of the hurt–to make the choice to forgive:

And when you stand praying, if you hold anything against anyone, forgive them, so that your Father in heaven may forgive you your sins.
Mark 11:25

Instead of holding that hurt, forgive. Releasing it will free your soul. The longer we hang onto an offense, the more time it has to scar our hearts.

If it seems too difficult, pray for the ability to throw out that stored hurt. God has grace available to help us deal with the hurt and the hurter. He wants us to come to Him with our bruised hearts to receive both healing and the ability to forgive.

“As we receive the garment of forgiveness, Jesus unravels our bitterness and knits a new luxurious pattern for our lives.” (Divine Design, p. 177)

Toss out stored hurts.

Next step: Have you been hanging onto stored hurts? Ask God to give you the strength to forgive.

Filed Under: Spiritual Growth Tagged With: ,
May 15, 2018

Spring Cleaning: Let’s Throw Out Regret

 
 Spring Cleaning-Regret

Last week we had dinner with some friends who told us about their philosophy of buying souvenirs while on a trip: “If you think you really want the item, get it. If you think you might regret it if you don’t get it, buy it. You may never have a chance to buy that item again.”

Probably good advice. Regret is a terrible feeling.

Regret is another item we should throw out.

I do have regrets–especially in the area of my mouth. I regret hurtful words that have slipped out my mouth and can never be erased. I feel remorse over words I should have said when I had the chance and didn’t.

But God tells me,

Forget the former things; do not dwell on the past.
Isaiah 43:18

I can’t change the past. Events that have already happened cannot be taken out of the cedar chest and mended. We can’t fix what is already stitched in time.

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God continues:

See, I am doing a new thing! Now it springs up; do you not perceive it?
Isaiah 43:19a

The trouble with keeping my eye on the past is that I may not see the new thing God is doing now.

God tells me:

I am making a way in the wilderness and streams in the wasteland.
Isaiah 43:19b

God can make something new out of the old. Something fresh and vibrant out the dusty and deserted. He can even make something good out of my mistakes. I don’t have the ability to mend the past, but He does.

So throw out regret. Don’t keep it as a souvenir of the past. Observe what God is doing in your life now.

Next step: Reread Isaiah 43:18 above. Turn it into a prayer asking God to help you throw out regret.

Filed Under: Spiritual Growth Tagged With: ,
May 1, 2018

Spring Cleaning: Let’s Throw Out False Guilt

Spring Cleaning-False Guilt 

When I’m cleaning out my closet, the hardest things for me to throw out are the items I feel guilty about not wearing. I see the gray slacks I bought at one of my favorite stores–slacks I paid a lot of money for–slacks that I was sure would be an asset to my wardrobe. Guess what, I have only worn them twice.

Guilt over spending good money on them prevents me from tossing them out. I think: Surely I’ll wear them next year.

However, a wardrobe expert would advise me to purge the gray slacks. After all, they are simply taking up room in my closet. Eliminating them would simplify my choices and erase the guilt I feel when I see them.
Guilt. It’s something we should toss.

There are two kinds of guilt. Genuine guilt is necessary in our lives. Guilt is what makes us realize that we need a Savior. It is what makes us turn to Jesus for forgiveness. 

But once we have confessed our sins, Christ forgives us and He tosses out our guilt. As far as He is concerned, our mistakes, our missteps, our out and out disobedience are all in the garbage can. Our guilt is set out on the curb, ready to be taken away and never seen again.

Sometimes when I clean out my closet, I put the rejects in a box in the basement–just until a charity calls for a donation of used clothing. I have been known to go back down to the box to retrieve an item and bring it back to my closet.

Do you ever go back into the garbage can where God has placed your guilt only to drag it out again?

I know I have. But that is false guilt. As women, we tend to be good at spiritual dumpster-diving. We tend to rehash things in our minds that have long been forgiven and forgotten by God.

Spring Cleaning-False GuiltPIN

Micah 7:19 tells us what God does for us,

Once again you will have compassion on us. You will trample our sins under your feet and throw them into the depths of the ocean!

Wow! Not only has God thrown out my sin and guilt, but He has thrown them into the depths of the sea. Even better than putting them in the trash can where I can easily run out to the curb to get them back again.
Leave guilt in its place. Go to God for forgiveness and watch Him throw out your sins never to be seen again. When you’re tempted to retrieve them, picture your guilt at the bottom of the ocean.
Throw out false guilt.

Next step: Have you been spiritual dumpster-diving? Remember, if you have confessed your sin and believe in Christ’s redeeming work done on the cross, you are forgiven! Post Micah 7:19 to remind yourself that God has thrown your sins away!

Filed Under: Spiritual Growth Tagged With: , ,
April 17, 2018

Spring Cleaning: Let’s Throw Out Expectations

Spring Cleaning-ExpectationsPIN 

Expectations.

I have a bunch of clothes in my closet that I should throw out because they have failed to live up to my expectations.

  • the “slim-secret” jeans that actually reveal every secret of my figure
  • the jacket that I thought would coordinate with so many outfits, but I have yet to find a single item it matches

Expectations.
Maybe it would be good to just throw them out all together.

Spring Cleaning-Expectations

When I graduated from college with a music degree, I expected to have a bevy of piano students knocking at my door. I assumed I would have an abundance of pupils excelling in music-making.

And even though I married to a pastor, I did not expect to be the church organist. In fact, I told God I would never become a church organist.

However, my husband’s first church was in Missoula, Montana–a beautiful town that an abundance of fine piano teachers and a church (our church) that had no organist. And so my music degree was put to work on the organ.

Life was not turning out as I expected.

The trouble with expectations is that they set you up for disappointment. Just when I think the thing I most want is in my grasp, it falls away. Just when the vision I want for my life begins to focus, it all fades to black.

But even when our expectations have let us down, it doesn’t mean there is no hope.

It just means that we have put our hope in the wrong thing. 

The psalmist Asaph had to talk to his soul when he was discouraged. Perhaps his expectations had been crushed. He said:

Why are you cast down, O my soul, and why are you in turmoil within me?
Hope in God; for I shall again praise him, my salvation and my God.
Psalm 42:5

When I put my hope in specific happenings, I may be disappointed.

But if I put my hope and expectations in God, I am never disillusioned. Things may not go as I have planned, but God has bigger and better things in mind.
I had certain expectations for my career. I expected happiness and fulfillment to come through piano teaching.

I hated playing the organ and fulling assumed that I would be miserable sitting on the organ bench Sunday after Sunday.
But it turned out that I found joy in using my musical training to praise God. My expectations for my career were not fulfilled, but my joy in God was.

Expectations.

Let’s throw them out. Let’s not assume our lives will go according to our plans. Life is unpredictable.

Let’s release the belief that happiness and joy are only available when our expectations are met.

Instead, let’s put our hope in God. Let’s expect that God has something wonderful for us just around the corner.  

Next step: What expectations for your life have you been clinging to? Write a prayer giving them to God and praising Him that He has something wonderful planned for your life.

Filed Under: Contentment, Spiritual Growth Tagged With: ,
April 10, 2018

Being or Doing

being or doing

“Turn left. At a quarter of a mile turn right.” When my husband and I get in the car at our home in the Chicago area to visit relatives in Missouri, we plug in our GPS device and get directions for every turn. And turn we do, left and right and left again…until we get to I-55. Once we are on this highway we don’t hear the voice of the GPS lady for hours. Why? Because we simply need to follow the interstate road for 160 miles. No turns necessary.

Sometimes I wish there were more turns in the road. That stretch of I-55 is not particularly awe-inspiring—just miles and miles of flat Illinois farmland. Miles and miles of corn and soybean fields. I wish for something more exciting.

There have been times in my life when I have felt like I’m on a not-so-awe-inspiring road. Life is moving along, but it seems like nothing much is happening. And I pray, “God, am I going the right direction? I feel like I haven’t heard much from You lately. Could you give a little more direction? Throw in a little excitement?”

Today I’m over at the Mudroom Blog. Click here to read on…

being or doingPIN

Filed Under: God's Relentless Love, Spiritual Growth Tagged With: , ,
April 3, 2018

Spring Cleaning: Let’s Throw Out Comparison

ThrowOutComparison 

Spring is here–at least according to the calendar. So it’s time to do a little spring cleaning.

For me, spring cleaning involves vacuuming under the furniture (It’s amazing how much dust can accumulate under beds and behind desks!) And doing jobs I tend to neglect. (The other day I hit a lampshade with the vacuum and the shade changed from gray to white!)

My spring cleaning ritual also involves sorting out my closet. It’s time to get out my spring and summer clothes and store the bulky winter items. Time to reassess my wardrobe and toss out the clothes that aren’t working for me anymore.

But let’s not stop with spring cleaning our homes and closets–let’s do a little spring cleaning of the heart. It’s time to toss out things we thought would fit us and make us feel good, but actually make us uncomfortable and miserable.

ThrowOutComparison2

First on the list–comparison. 

If Comparison 101 were offered as a college course, most of us women would have no trouble earning an A+ in that class.

We tend to compare our figures and our hair. We measure up our homes and decor. We look at our friends’ purses, cell phones, shoes, jewelry…and wonder if ours are as good.

But comparison rarely leads to anything positive. It may lead to pride if today’s comparison makes me feel a little better than someone else.

Or it may lead to feeling like a failure if in my current comparison I am not as thin or beautiful or successful or…

Comparison seems like a natural fit, but it always chafes and irritates our hearts. It’s time to throw it out.

Read God’s Word:

I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; your works are wonderful, I know that full well. Psalm 139:10

When I read that I hear God whispering:

Don’t compare yourself to others, because I purposely made you just as you are. 

I put you together with careful craftsmanship and intentional quality. 

Don’t second-guess Me and wonder why I didn’t make you more like “her.” 

I love you exactly as you are.

It’s time to throw out comparison. Accept yourself as God’s workmanship.

Next step: Read the words of Psalm 139:10. Turn them into a prayer that you repeat whenever you’re tempted to compare yourself to someone else today.

Filed Under: Contentment, Spiritual Growth Tagged With: ,
March 27, 2018

Practicing Lent: Submission

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One day, when our children were ages three and six, my husband came home from work and announced, “Let’s homeschool next year.”

My first thought was, “That’s easy for you to say since you wouldn’t be the one doing it.”

My second thought was, “I’ve already told God that homeschooling is something I would NEVER do.”

Submission is a spiritual discipline. Not necessarily in submitting to our husbands or to figures of authority–although God may deal with us in those areas as well. I’m talking about submission to God. Surrendering to God’s will for our lives is a way to demonstrate our trust in His goodness and love.

Lent is a time when we often give up something–a sacrifice of a food or activity that will help us remember the sacrifice Jesus made for us. When I read the Gospels I am astounded by Christ’s constant sacrifice for us on earth. Not only a surrender of His life on the cross but a daily sacrifice of His own preferences–a submission to the Father’s will.

Jesus’ prayer in the Garden of Gethsemane informs us that the sacrifice on the cross was not easy. He asked if there was any other way to accomplish the Father’s plan, but He added, “Not as I will, but as You will.” And even before Gethsemane, Jesus often said that His purpose was to do the Father’s will. He gave up a lot when He came to earth. In heaven, Jesus was worshipped; on earth, He was questioned and ridiculed. In heaven, Jesus never experienced hunger or pain; on earth, His stomach growled and His feet probably developed blisters. But when God asked Jesus to give up His life for unworthy humans, Jesus didn’t stamp those feet and declare–like I did–“That is something I will NEVER do.” He submitted to the will of the Father.

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All those years ago when my husband suggested homeschooling, I told my husband I would look into it. I had no intention of actually educating my children at home, but my plan was to do a little research and then inform my husband that it wasn’t for us. Trouble was, as I was reading about homeschooling, I could feel the Spirit’s gentle nudge that this was God’s plan for us. I didn’t want to homeschool, but eventually, I submitted my will to God’s idea and enjoyed fifteen wonderful years of educating my children.

Is the Lord asking you to exercise the Spiritual discipline of Submission? Maybe you already sense God asking you to do something that you are not exactly thrilled about. Perhaps you’ve already drawn a line in the sand and told God, “Never.” But God is drawing you to Himself reminding you of His great love and that He has wonderful plans for your life. All He asks is that we trust Him.

Pray, asking the Father if there is something you need to surrender in order to grow in faith. Ask Him:

  • Are You nudging me to do something that’s out of my comfort zone?
  • Is there dream or goal that I have that is not in Your plan?
  • Is there a hobby, activity, or organization that I need to give up in order to spend more time with You?
  • Lord, is there something wonderful You have for me that I haven’t even thought of?

As we remember Christ’s sacrifice on the cross, let us also ask God if there is something in our own lives that we need to surrender. It is never easy to give up our own ideas, our own plans, our own dreams, but God promises that He has something wonderful planned for us.

For I know the plans I have for you, declares the Lord, plans for welfare and not for evil, to give you a future and a hope. Jeremiah 29:11

He is ready to give us more than we have ever dreamed.

Next step: Download this resource with Scriptures about Christ’s submission to the Father’s will. This week contemplate Christ’s sacrifice on our behalf. Then ask the Father if there is anything you need to surrender.

Filed Under: Spiritual Disciplines Tagged With: ,
March 20, 2018

Practicing Lent: Kindness

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My mother, Lorna, is an expert in practicing kindness. She bakes apple pies for the people who mow her lawn and shovel her snow. She makes meals for those who are ill. She takes the time to visit people in nursing homes and hospitals. She often practices the Spiritual discipline of kindness.

Spiritual disciplines are often divided into categories of inward and outward practices. Inward disciplines include Scripture study, prayer, and meditation. Outward practices include mentoring, hospitality, and service.

Often I think of service as something big and time-consuming like spending a day at a homeless shelter or taking time each week to volunteer at a food pantry. These are wonderful ways to serve, but service does not always have to be something huge and impressive. Sometimes it’s the little things that mean a lot.

Simple kindness is one way we can serve each other. Kindness is listed as a fruit of the Spirit along with love, joy, and peace. Yet, kindness often seems to be in short supply in the world. Drivers honk their horns. People cut in lines. Frustrated parents yell at their kids.

I am no different. Although I want to exhibit the fruit of kindness, do I allow that driver coming out of McDonald’s to merge in front of me? Well, no. Do I take the time to take soup to an ailing church member? Um, no.

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Kindness begins with noticing. Too often I am too busy, too focused on getting everything checked off my to-do list to even observe who could use an encouraging word. To see the disappointment on a child’s face. To realize my friend is hurting.

But I want to do better. This week I’m asking God to develop the fruit of kindness in me. To help me notice someone each day who needs a kind word or a bit of help.

Because this doesn’t come naturally to me, I did a little research on the Internet on simple ways to show kindness:

  • Smile and say hello to a stranger walking on the street.
  • Buy a cup of coffee for the person in line behind you at the coffee shop.
  • Leave a sweet note for someone you love.
  • Bring a meal to someone who is ill.
  • Give a compliment to someone who isn’t expecting one.
  • Bring a treat to share with coworkers.
  • Send a card to someone just to let them know you are praying for them.
  • Text a friend a picture that says, “I’m thinking of you” or “Remember this?”
  • Buy cookies or popcorn or whatever from the little kid who shows up at your front door.
  • Invite a friend to lunch.

I once heard a Christian speaker say that she wished that whenever people in the world thought of Christians, they would always think of them as the kindest people they knew.

Jesus was kind. Even on His busiest days, He stopped on His journey to heal a servant and offer words of encouragement to a suffering woman. He took the time to bless “insignificant” little children. When we practice kindness, we are demonstrating the love of Christ. The One who loved us enough to die for us motivates us to share His love.

This week, let’s meditate on God’s kindness to us. Let’s pray that God would help us notice hurting people who cross our paths and to enable us to give them a small gift of kindness.

Next step: Download this resource with Scriptures on kindness. Every morning ask God to help you notice at least one person who needs a gift of kindness.

Filed Under: Spiritual Disciplines Tagged With: , ,
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