Have you ever wondered how to deserve God’s love?
I remember a time in my life when I felt anything but loveable. Anything but successful. Anything but deserving.
This dreary point in my life came after my kids grew up and left home. After fifteen years of homeschooling and twenty years of parenting, my kids no longer needed me in the same way. Who was I if not a mom?
Because I now had more free time, I wondered how best to spend it. I felt a call from God to start a speaking and writing ministry. But who was I kidding? I had a few–very few–speaking engagements lined up, but it seemed that no one wanted my writing. My inbox was filled with rejection letters. Who was I if I didn’t have a purpose?
Joseph as a Failure
Lately, I’ve been studying the life of Joseph and I marvel at how his early years in Egypt contained failure after failure.
First, Joseph went from being a favorite son of a wealthy man in Canaan to being a lowly slave in Egypt. He slowly worked his way into his master’s favor only to be falsely accused of sexual assault and thrown into prison. He saw a chance to get out of prison when he correctly interpreted the dream of Pharaoh’s cupbearer. But the cupbearer forgot all about him and Joseph was stuck in the pit.
At this point in his life, Joseph probably felt like a failure. He probably remembered the dreams he had as a teenager where his brothers’ sheaves of grain bent down to his. Where the sun, moon, and eleven stars bowed to him. How these dreams gave him hope of doing something great in his life.
Now he sat in a dark prison–a dismal disappointment. How did Joseph get through this time?
Although I’ve read Joseph’s story many times, this time I noticed something new. Genesis 39:20-21 says:
And Joseph’s master took him and put him into the prison, the place where the king’s prisoners were confined, and he was there in prison. But the Lord was with Joseph and showed him steadfast love.
While Joseph sat in prison, while most of the world didn’t notice him, while it seemed clear he would never do anything great–the Lord showed him steadfast love.
Isn’t that reassuring?
How Can We Deserve God’s Love?
True confession time–even though I’ve always known I could never earn God’s love, in the back of my mind, I somehow felt that I had to prove to God that I deserved it. That He didn’t make a mistake when He chose me.
Ridiculous, right?
How can we deserve God’s love? Short answer is: We can’t.
But I think many of us fall into this trap. Satan tries to make us believe that God could never love a mess like us and we start to believe it. In response, we might sink into despair. Or, if you’re like me, you try to prove Satan wrong, by working hard to show your worth.
That’s why those two verses in Joseph’s story comfort me.
Sure, Joseph goes on to become second-in-command in Egypt, but at this point in the story, he’s a nobody. A slave in prison. Can’t get much lower than that. Yet it’s when Joseph is a nobody that God shows Joseph unfailing, unending, unconditional love.
I hope this encourages you too. If you’re feeling like a nobody, remember that Jesus loves you as you are. If your life seems like a failure, realize that God still showers you with love. If you feel you don’t deserve God’s love, you’re right–but that’s good news because God’s love never depends on your performance or accomplishments.
If you feel you don’t deserve God’s love, you’re right–but that’s good news because God’s love never depends on your performance or accomplishments.
Whatever prison of doubt or dark place of apparent failure you find yourself in, God is still with you and continues to show you steadfast love.
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