I’ve been complaining lately. The world seems to be falling apart. I feel helpless. So I gripe and grumble.
But I know the Bible discourages such behavior. Philippians 2:14 says:
“Do everything without complaining or arguing.”
While I want to obey God’s Word, I also wonder: What–exactly–constitutes complaining? What kind of grumbling can I get away with?”
Defining Complaining
Dictionary.com defines complain as:
to express dissatisfaction, pain, uneasiness, censure, resentment, or grief; find fault
According to this definition there is very little I can get away with! Whining about my aches and pains is out. Making a fuss over being mistreated is out. Grumbling about my grief is out.
However, I think there are certain times and places that are appropriate for talking about our pain, mistreatment, or grief. Doctors and counselors need to understand our pain or grief so they will know how to help us. Businesses may need to know a complaint so that contracts are fulfilled.
A Biblical Definition of Complain
So what exactly does Paul mean in Philippians when he says, “Do everything without complaining”? Let’s look at the Greek word for complain. It is goggysmos which is an onomatopoeic word derived from the sound made when murmuring with the idea of complaint.
The online Bible, Blue Letter Bible, has an interesting definition of goggysmos:
a murmur, murmuring, muttering, a secret debate, a secret displeasure not openly avowed
When I read this, a little light bulb went off in my head. Often when we are grumbling about something we don’t do it openly to the person we are grumbling about. Murmuring, complaining, and griping are not usually directed toward the person or persons with whom we have the problem. We complain about our husbands to our friends, we gripe about our friends to our husbands. We murmur against our boss to our co-workers, we whine about our co-workers to our boss.
I think one key to eliminating complaining from your conversations is to talk to the right people. If you have a problem in a relationship don’t complain about it to all your friends. Instead, go to the person directly and work things out in a loving way. If you have pain, don’t talk endlessly about it, but tell those who need to know and can help you (doctors, therapists, family members). If you have grief, don’t dwell on it constantly, but take the time to talk to counselors or friends who are able to help you bear the burden.
Maybe the kind of complaining that Paul talks about can be defined like this:
to often express dissatisfaction, pain resentment, or grief to those who are not directly involved and are unable to help or change the situation.
Biblical Complainers
The Bible is full of complainers and grumblers:
“The Israelites complained about their hardships in the hearing of the Lord” (Numbers 11:1). The Israelites whined to each other but did not pray to God.
“Miriam and Aaron began to talk against Moses because of his Cushite wife” (Numbers 12:1). The siblings griped to each other about Moses but didn’t talk to him directly.
“Among the crowds there was widespread whispering about him. Some said, ‘He is a good man.’ Others replied, ‘No, he deceives the people’” (John 7:12). The people made a fuss about Jesus privately but didn’t talk to their Savior in person.
Instead of complaining, these people could have done something about their problems.
The Number One Thing to Do Instead of Complain
So what can we do instead of complain? Go to the Lord with our complaints.
God knows our hearts anyway; He knows when our hearts are anxious, heavy, or frustrated. But an amazing thing happens when we voice our concerns to Him. He reassures us that He will work things out. He calms our anxious souls.
In Psalm 142 King David models what this looks like. He said,
“I cry aloud to the LORD;
I lift up my voice to the LORD for mercy.
I pour out my complaint before him;
before him I tell my trouble.”Psalm 142:1-2
David went to the Lord because he knew God had the answers he needed. He realized the Lord could rescue him. David also understood the end result of taking his concerns to the almighty God. He knew that God could set him free from his problems:
“Set me free from my prison,
that I may praise your name.”Psalm 142:7a
And in the end, God would make everyone notice the Lord’s goodness in his life:
“the righteous will gather about me
because of your goodness to me.”Psalm 142:7b
I don’t think that God wants to hear only complaints. But when we take our problems to the One who can free us from our prisons of pain and help us in our troubles, others will see God’s goodness and we can praise His name.
Author Anthony J. D’Angelo writes,
“If you have time to whine and complain about something then you have the time to do something about it.”
But I say,
If you have time to whine and complain about something then you have the time to pray about it.
Next step: Today, when you catch yourself complaining–instead pray! God to the Lord with your complaints!