Joy Stealers: The Myth of Self-Help

Type in “self-help books” on Amazon and you will be met with 194,329 options to choose from.

With just a purchase of a book you can be on your way to Overcoming Depression, Learning to Listen, or Overcoming Paranoid and Suspicious Thoughts.  Or you can buy a book that will help you to: Achieve Anything in Just One Year; Think Confident, Live Confident; or Dump That Chump!

I have to admit–I love self-help books and have bought more than my fair share of them. If there’s way to do something better, smarter, or cheaper I want to know about it.

But the problem with self-help is the “self” part. Sure, all by myself I can probably learn to organize my office, make jewelry, or eat healthier.

But when I try to clean up my thought closet on my own, I’m disappointed in myself. When I try to make myself do the right thing, I fail. When I try to increase my happiness, I get depressed.

Because I can’t do it by myself.

The myth of self-help is actually a joy-stealer.

Because on my own I can’t really make any significant changes in my life. I try, but am unsuccessful. So I try harder and still fail. Then I think “I must be doing something wrong,” so I buy another book, try another strategy, redouble my efforts.

And that’s when I watch joy flee out of the back door of my heart. That’s when I hear the door slam shut. That’s when I feel alone in my struggle.

But all the while God is right there ready to flood my heart with His joy. He wants to open up all the dark crevices in my heart and fill them with His light. He is waiting to give me the wisdom and strength I need, the joy I crave.

Philippians 2:13 says:

For it is God who works in you, both to will and to work for his good pleasure. (ESV)

You see, it is God who works in me. He is the one who gives me the ability to please Him.

But God not only offers me the strength to follow Him, He gives something even more basic. Read the verse in the New Living Translation:

For God is working in you, giving you the desire and the power to do what pleases him.

Did you catch that? Not only does God give me the power to the right thing, He gives me the desire to do it. On my own I don’t even want to do what’s right.

What steals our joy is the constant struggle: the belief that if we try hard enough we can be good enough. The notion that if I buy just one more self-help book or sign up for one more class I’ll know what I need to do to be happy. The idea that if  I simply work harder, I’ll be successful.

What restores our joy is God’s reassurance: He loves us as we are. He will show us the path to joy if we stay close enough to follow Him. He will point the way to a meaningful life and give us the strength to walk that path step by step.

Next Step: Where in your life are you tempted to think you have to work harder, try harder, struggle harder? Remember God’s reassurance that He loves you just as you are.

Have you heard Amy Grant’s song “Don’t Try So Hard”? Click below to see the video and hear the song:

Don’t Try So Hard