Joy Stealers: Regret

I regret last summer.

I always start the short-Chicago summer season with great anticipation. Finally, warm weather! We’ll go to outdoor concerts, do some hiking, maybe even go on a picnic or two. I’ll take some time to do some organizing projects and read a few books on my reading list. It’ll be a great summer!

But last summer ended in disappointment. The unusually hot, dry summer kept me indoors. We only went to one outdoor concert because it was just too hot to sit outside. I didn’t get any of the organizing projects done that I wanted to. (Clean the basement is on the list again for this summer.) And the reading list? Huh!

Fortunately, summer comes around every year and I have a chance for a do-over. To make this summer better, I created a summer “bucket list.” I got the idea from my writer friend Lara Krupicka. (Read about her summer bucket list idea.) By making a written list of what I want to get out of this favorite season, I’m hoping that I will be more likely to actually do these fun and practical activities. I hope that this summer won’t end with regret.

Of course, regret can be much more serious than simply not having enough fun in one summer. We all have words we regret, actions we regret. If only we could go back and have a do-over. We wish we had not hurt others, messed up our lives, or taken a wrong turn from God’s path.

The trouble with regret is that it steals our joy. Living under the cloud of “if only” continually darkens our spirits.

Fortunately, God has a better way. Instead of existing with regret, He wants us to truly live–with repentance.

2 Corinthians 7:10 says:

For godly grief produces a repentance that leads to salvation without regret, whereas worldly grief produces death.

What’s the difference between regret and repentance?

Regret is constantly wishing you had done something different, that life had gone another way. The pain of this self-condemnation never goes away. Your inner judge continues to pound the gavel and yell, “Guilty!” This kind of grief can put you under a soul-killing death sentence.

There is also grief in repentance–a sorrow over past mistakes and sins. But repentance takes this grief to the eternal Judge–Jesus. And Jesus is not only our Judge, but the one who took the punishment for those mistakes and sins. Repentance places all that sorrow in a loving Savior’s hands and listens for the words, “Not guilty!”

Some of you may continue to live under the cloud of regret because you think: Forgiveness is too easy. Even though I know Jesus died for my sins, it’s not really enough. It would be wrong if I felt happy after what I’ve done. I need to hang onto this heavy regret in order to pay for my mistakes.

Dear sister, Jesus wants you to let that grief go. 2 Corinthians tells us that godly grief produces no regret. God doesn’t want to live with self-condemnation. If we have repented of our sins, we can live joyfully forgiven.

Every day, listen for Jesus’ words, “Not guilty!”

Next step: Are tempted to live under a cloud of regret? Write Ephesians 1:7 on a card and carry it with you today, reminding yourself that in Christ, you are forgiven.