The pile of the things I “should” do is daunting. The “shoulds” overwhelm me.
Today I should finish writing a chapter for my new book, finish a project for an organization I’m a part of, clean my disaster of a basement, harvest beans in my garden, and finish this blog post.
In addition, experts tell me that every day I should exercise for thirty minutes, eat at least five fruits and vegetables, avoid saturated fat, consume 25 grams of fiber. To be prepared for emergencies I should have an emergency kit in my basement, store gallons of water, and have a crank radio. In order to get ahead,I really should make thousands of connections on social media, pay attention to my stock portfolio, hire style experts, improve my public speaking…
It’s overwhelming just to list all the things I should do.
The other day I was reading the story in the Bible where Jesus comes to Martha’s house for dinner. I know. You’ve heard this story before. We are all supposed to be more like Mary and less like Martha. Yada. Yada.
But read the story again and notice the highlighted word.
As Jesus and his disciples were on their way, he came to a village where a woman named Martha opened her home to him. She had a sister called Mary, who sat at the Lord’s feet listening to what he said.But Martha was distracted by all the preparations that had to be made. She came to him and asked, “Lord, don’t you care that my sister has left me to do the work by myself? Tell her to help me!”
“Martha, Martha,” the Lord answered, “you are worried and upset about many things,but only one thing is needed. Mary has chosen what is better, and it will not be taken away from her.”
(Luke 10:38-42 NIV 1984)
When I noticed that little word, I had a lightbulb moment: Martha was distracted by all the preparations that had to be made.
Martha felt she should make a big dinner for Jesus. She thought she should be in the kitchen.
But who told her she should be doing these things?
It wasn’t Jesus.
Jesus obviously didn’t order Martha to prepare a meal–He commends the sister who is not in the kitchen. Did someone else tell her she had to take responsibility for the meal? Martha probably had servants to whom she could have delegated the work.
Yet she felt she should prepare the meal.
Often when I’m feeling overwhelmed it’s because of the many “shoulds” in my life. I should keep my home in perfect order. I should have an impressive job. I should be helping more people. I start to feel buried under the piles of things I should be doing.
Who told me I should do all those things? Perhaps God commanded some of the things I need to do. But it just might be that I am the one who placed too many shoulds on my plate. I said yes to too many responsibilities. I took on too many tasks.
When I’m feeling overwhelmed, I have to take a good look at the nitwit who said “yes” too often. I have to accept the responsibility for being overcommitted.
When you’re overwhelmed and overcommitted try doing these three things to get out from under that pile of “shoulds”:
- Ask yourself, “Who is telling me I should do this?’ God didn’t tell Martha she had to make a meal for Him. He wanted her to spend some time with Him instead. Too many times I am doing what I think I need to do or what some expert thinks I need to do and neglecting what God wants me to do.
- Sit at Jesus feet. This is what Jesus desired for Martha. It’s what He desires for us. Take time to listen to Him. Don’t jump into tasks that were not meant for you.
- Ask Jesus, “What do you want me to do?” Ignore the nagging voice in your head. Ignore the experts. Find out what God wants you to do.
Come out from under the pile of “shoulds.”
Next step: Make a list of all the things that you feel you should do today. For each item, ask yourself, “Who is telling me I should do this?” Then prayerfully take them to Christ and ask Him, “What do You want me to do?” In this process, you may discover that some things need to be removed from your list.