No Nag Zone — 10 Dos and Don’ts for Moms

Sometimes, as moms, it seems all we do is nag.

Pick up your shoes.

Finish your homework.

Make your bed.

We don’t want to, but kids are kids. They need instruction. They need guidance. They need reminders!  

When my kids were young, one of the best tools I found to get the kids to do their chores was a job wheel. On the wheel I put the three main chores that needed to get done every week. On the outside of the wheel I put my two children’s names and my name. On week my daughter would be responsible for the vacuuming, I would clean the bathrooms, and my son would dust and take out the garbage. Then the next week we would spin the wheel and everyone would get a different job. This helped in two ways. One, nobody had to do the same job every week. Two, every third week I did the chore to my specifications and made up for any lack of skill my young children had in completing the task. Also when they were young, we all did the chores at the same time and finished with some kind of fun treat or activity. All of these things helped to create a No Nag Zone.

In my research I found some other dos and don’ts for building a No Nag Zone in your home.

Do

• Do give clear instructions. Make sure your child understands what you want him to do.
• Do try a list–some kids will respond better to a written chore list than verbal instruction.
• Do have consequences for tasks not finished.
• Do use visuals–try posting a picture of your child’s clean room on her closet door as an example of what it is supposed to look like.
• Do allow for negotiation with older kids–come to a mutual agreement on number and method of chores to be done.

Don’t

• Don’t demean or belittle a child or her abilities.
• Don’t give a task that is too difficult.
• Don’t forget to praise your child’s efforts.
• Don’t micromanage–sometimes good enough is good enough.
• Don’t be inconsistent–letting your child off the hook once, but insisting on the chore another time will only lead to more nagging.

I hope these tips will help create a No Nag Zone in your home. Nagging never feels like love. Although we may need to give instructions and reminders, we want to learn to give them in a loving way. 

This article was adapted from my book, Bless These Lips.  This book will help you use your words to encourage the people around you. Check it out here and here.